April's Top Blogs

In case you missed them, the more popular April blogs:

• The Difference Between I Did and I Do
• What We Talk About When We Talk About God
• (No) Cell Phones Allowed

Brain Chemistry and Theological Differences

Don Miller has a really interesting piece here

(No) Cell Phones Allowed

I get why we fight it.  Why we limit cell phones.  They are not allowed in school.  Can't use them in the doctor's or dentist's office.  Certainly taboo at the movies.

What about church?  Should this be another 'cell phone' free zone?

Couple thoughts- I get limiting cell phones.  We're almost naked if we forget it at home or if the battery dies.  I am not advocating that these devices need to follow us everywhere we go.

Second, cell phones aren't going anywhere.  In fact, the technology continues to increase their importance in daily life, not diminish it.  Some countries in Europe, for instance, treat the cell phone like a mobile wallet.  Want a Coke from a vending machine?  Use your cell phone.

Finally, for those of us who teach, the temptation is to limit cell phone or technology so students/church folk can focus on the message.  And yet, every time I've taught or spoken and I have folks surfing the internet, scanning Facebook, or sending tweets, I consider that a me problem as in, whatever I am saying or teaching is not good enough to command attention from those other activities.  I can fight it (no cell phones allowed), but far better for me to take a look at my tactics.

Hillcrest recently launched a live event on the Bible app youversion.  You can get a preview of Sunday's service here.  You can also find us on the youversion app on your smartphone or tablet by clicking on the blue live event icon, enter "57103" into the search, and hit enter.  Our live event should pop up.  You can use the live event to access the scriptures we're teaching from on Sunday, take notes, give online, and even fill out our connection card online (of course, there's the paper one you can always fill out).

I think cell phones are here to stay.  For those with smartphones and tablets, the youversion app is a must.  And for those who lead in churches, the live event is one way to engage these folks.

Don't fight it.

Decisive

Some takeaways from the book Decisive:

• The pros and cons approach is familiar.  It is commonsensical.  And it is also profoundly flawed.
• Our normal habit in life is to develop a quick belief about a situation and then seek out information that bolsters our belief.  And that problematic habit, called the confirmation bias, is the second villain of decision making.
• People think they know more than they do about how the future will unfold.
• Multitracking keeps egos in check.  If your boss has three projects in play, chances are she’ll be open to unvarnished feedback about them, but if there’s only one pet project, it will be harder for her to hear the truth.
• With so little proof that interviews work, why do we rely on them so much?  Because we all think we’re good at interviewing.
• That’s why, in helping us to break a decision logjam, the single most effective question may be: What would I tell my best friend to do in this situation?
• Productive interruption- set a timer that goes off once each hour, and when it beeps, we should ask ourselves, “Am I doing what most need to be doing right now?”
• The procedural-justice research shows that people care deeply about process.  We all want to believe that a decision process that affects us is fair, and that it is taking into account all the right information.       

Busy

"You're busy".

I'll hear this comment about my life, or my families' life, or my kids' lives.  You're busy.

Sometimes the comment is a mere observation, as in "when I notice your life, I notice you're busy".

Sometimes the comment comes from a place of sympathy, as in "you're busy, and I feel sorry for you".

Sometimes the comment comes from a place of pity, as in "you're busy, and I am glad I don't live your life".

I used to try to deflect these comments with quips of my own like "it's a busy time" or "everyone's busy".  I've tried justifying being busy as a multiplication problem, as in, I have four kids, so that's four sports, four musics, four classrooms, etc.

But here's a little secret- I enjoy being busy.  I do.  Not crazy busy as in something from sun up to sun down or that there has to be something on the calendar every day or night, but if the choice is between activity and inactivity, I choose activity.

One more secret?  I choose to be busy- no one or thing makes me busy.

So, I am moving away from trying to deflect or defend my busyness and instead, when the observation comes again, to simply say 'yep'.    

The Difference Between I Did and I Do

I ran track in high school.  Distance events- primarily the one mile and two mile events.  I've done all of the training and preparation needed to be able to run distance races.  So when my friends talk about training for and eventually running in 5Ks, half marathons, and marathons, I know what they're going through because to a degree, I've been there too.

That's a far cry, however, from still doing those things.

There's a big difference between me as someone who used to run and someone who currently runs.

There's also a big difference between being able to do something and actually doing it.

The other day I ran about 5 miles on the treadmill.  While watching a TV show.  For a moment, I thought to myself, 'I could run a 5K- I  just did one here'.

Again, having the capability to do something is different then actually doing it.

Rather than thinking thoughts of what I used to do or what I could do, my energies are better spent on the actual doing.

Questions Worth Pondering

I meet each Friday with a group of guys and we've been discussing this book.  One of the last chapters we discussed had some tough questions we all resonated with.  Here's the list:

·        Why did I pick this job?  Did I consult God in the decision?

·        Does the product or service I produce offer value to the culture that is consistent with God’s moral principles?

·        Does the way I provide those products or services offer value to the culture that is consistent with God’s moral principles?

·        Is the marketing of those products and services consistent with God’s moral principles?

·        Does my management of the budget area I am responsible for reflect principles of stewardship?

·        Am I making decisions that reflect concern for the long-term well-being of the investors, owners, customers, and employees where I serve?

·        Are the workers, coworkers, and customers I’m responsible for being treated with dignity?

·        Are the workers, coworkers, and customers I’m responsible for being treated with equity?

·        Are the workers, coworkers, and customers I’m responsible for being treated with justice, and where possible, with mercy?

·        Am I resolving conflict in ways that honor God?

·        Am I differentiating between mistakes and negligence?

·        Do I refrain from criticizing customers, coworkers, and employees to others?

·        Do I exhibit forgiveness?

·        Are the expectations of my job reasonable, allowing me to meet the other requirements God gives me in life?

·        Are my expectations of my workers reasonable, allowing them to meet the other requirements God gives them?

·        Do my memos, reports, conversations, discussions, and other communication reflect a commitment to honesty?

·        Do I withhold information that might be useful to others in my company because it could give them an advantage in promotion or influence?

·        Do my natural conversations at work reflect the nature and depth of my relationship with Jesus Christ?

·        Do I refrain from retaliation against customers, coworkers, and competitors?

·        Do I know my coworkers well enough to describe my faith in terms they can understand when the opportunity presents itself?

·        Am I willing to sacrifice gain in my own career if it produces an outcome that serves others in my work culture more effectively?

Points of No Return

Much has been written- and data assembled- about how culture and society perceives Christians and churches being know more for "what they are against" than "what they are for".  And while we can debate the validity (or not) of the things we are against, the sad reality is that while we defend what we are against, we haven't put forth much effort on what we are for.

I did a post yesterday on the book Difficult Conversations and one takeaway I thought deserved its own post.  The authors write: Our sense of who we are as a community is often defined in terms of who we are not, who we are against, and what hardships we’ve endured.  Tragically, we can feel threatened by the prospect of reconciliation, because it can rob us not only of our role, but also of our community identity.

Wow.  Really good words here.  Chances are, you've been part of a community- a church, a school, your workplace- where you've endured some kind of split.  A big chunk of the church left.  Teachers and staff were moved out of your school or rearranged within your school.  A merger happened at work or several of your colleagues were let go and you didn't agree with the decision.  And it is interesting how those events define us.  We are (were) against this theological issue.  We are (were) against the staff reorganization.  We are (were) against the merger or the downsizing.  Those events- as painful as they are- bind the different groups together- those who 'stayed' and those who didn't.  And, as the authors point out, reconciliation is indeed a threatening prospect because when you're known to be against something, the thought of talking or reconciling with who/what you're against has the very real ability to steal your identity.  

Difficult Conversations

Recently finished a really good book called Difficult Conversations.  My takeaways:

• As we argue vociferously for our view, we often fail to question one critical assumption upon which our whole stance in the conversation is built: I am right, you are wrong.  This simple assumption causes endless grief.
• Difficult conversations are almost never about getting the facts right.
• We assume we know the intentions of others when we don’t.  Worse still, when we are unsure about someone’s intentions, we too often decide they are bad.
• Why is it always the other person who is naïve or selfish or irrational or controlling?  Why is that we never think we are the problem?
• Arguing blocks us from exploring each other’s stories
• Telling someone to change make it less rather than more likely that they will
• Instead of asking yourself, “how can they think that?!” ask yourself, “I wonder what information they have that I don’t?”  Instead of asking, “how can they be so irrational?” ask, “How might they see the world such that their view makes sense?”  Certainty locks us out of their story; curiosity lets us in.
• While we care deeply about other people’s intentions toward us, we don’t actually know what their intentions are.
• We make an attribution about another person’s intentions based on the impact of their actions on us.
• Focusing on blame is a bad idea because it inhibits our ability to learn what’s really causing the problem and to do anything meaningful to correct it
• When your real goal is finding the dog, fixing the ceiling, and preventing such incidents in the future, focusing on blame is a waste of time.  It neither helps you understand the problem looking back, nor helps you fix it going forward.
• A particularly problematic form of avoiding is complaining to a third party instead of to the person with whom you’re upset.  It makes you feel better, but puts the third party in the middle with no good way to help.
• No one is always anything.  We each exhibit a constellation of qualities, positive and negative, and constantly grapple with how to respond to the complicated situations life presents.
• Being disappointed that someone isn’t reading our mind is one of our contributions to the problem.

If My American People Pray?

One of the more popular texts applied to America is 2 Chronicles 7:14 .  You see a lot of Christians and Christian leaders use this text and apply it to America.  The reason this text gets applied to America is because of the prevailing thought that our country- specifically our country’s leadership and policies- is moving away from God and what God would want.  You can take any issue- abortion, same sex marriage, the economy- and we’ll use it as evidence of our country moving away from God and then we’ll quote this text as the means or the inspiration for bringing our country back to God.  Now, I am not about to say or comment on our country’s direction or begin to assess whether God is happy with our country’s direction.  But when come across a text like this, we first need to understand its primary purpose was for Israel- Old Testament Israel- God’s people.  As we’ll see in the next couple weeks of the Story, God’s people- and her kings- will ping pong between obediently following God and straying away from God (similar to what we saw happening in the book of Judges).  So this text is a reminder first to his people.  Secondly, this isn’t a text for America, anymore than it is a text for Canada or Australia or South Sudan.  This text isn’t special for America as a country  It is special for people who follow Jesus- wherever they live.  If we look at the issues facing us as a nation, as followers of Jesus, we can apply this text to our own lives and seek God.  We can apply this text as groups of Christ-followers- as churches- and seek God in this way as well.  Too often we see our nation heading a direction we don’t like and we surmise the way to stop that direction is to try and pass legislation to reverse the course.  But the legislation is only effective when there is an ethic- or when there are values- that support that legislation.  This text is about changing values- changing hearts- not passing laws.  And if we as followers of Jesus would put as much or more effort into making sure our own hearts were changed by the gospel and then spreading the gospel to other people, perhaps we’d see more of the changes we hope will occur through legislation and government.

Better than Nothing

You wanted to read two chapters from Scripture, but wound up reading a few verses.  Better than nothing.

You wanted to do some cardio work and hit the weights at the gym, but wound up only getting the cardio work in.  Better than nothing.

You wanted to volunteer the soup kitchen for the entire shift, but wound up only being able to help for an hour.  Better than nothing.

Instead of feeling (or making others feel) guilty for what we didn't do, let's recognize what we did get done is better than had we done nothing.

Why I Blog

Blogger says I have over 500 posts since I started blogging in August 2008.  There's obviously been chunks of time taken off during those years, but recently I've been trying to blog more frequently, and here's why:

• Blogging forces me to pay attention- when I blog, I am forced to pay attention- to notice what's happening in other blogs, current events, things at Hillcrest and other ministry trends, as well as things from life whether it's a purchase at HyVee or seeing a movie.  When I blog, I am more likely to pay attention and notice what else is happening.
• Blogging keep me learning- there's not a lot of original thoughts on the blog and many of the posts are things I've learned from books, TED videos, or other blogs.  During the seasons I haven't blogged as often, my desire to read and learn more has decreased.
• Blogging gives me a platform- I have no grand desire or scheme that this blog will 'go viral' or end up on a 'buzz' list, but for me, blogging gives me a platform to offer my own perspective on things that I care about and things that I know (something) about.  
• Blogging can help spread good things- whether it's an article about Hillcrest, a unique post from a family member or fellow staff person's blog, or something I think can make a positive difference, blogging is one way to help spread the good things happening around us.

The Secrets of Happy Families

Really, really enjoyed this book.  And while posting about a book on families is always a bit dangerous (as in, "hey, your family doesn't do that" or "practice what you preach, bro!"), here are some of my favorite thoughts:

• People think it is natural to live in a world where everyone is dysfunctional.  It’s not.  It is normal for people to be satisfied.  All you have to do is remove the barriers that are making you unhappy and you’ll be a lot happier.  
• Questions to ask at a family meeting
• What things went well in our family this week?
• What things could we improve in our family?
• What things will you commit to working on this week?

• Most people have either a great family and an average career, or an incredible career and an average family.  The only way to have both is to apply the same level of passion and energy to your family as you do to your work.  There can be no asymmetry.

• One of the ways to stop fighting is to stop saying "you"

There's much more from this book, but it is stuff better implemented than blogged about.  Really good stuff and worth checking out.  

Solomon, David Lee Roth, and Newman

King Solomon, David Lee Roth, and Newman (from Seinfeld) all walk into a bar . . .

Well, not exactly, but all three made it into my message this past Sunday.

Happiness and Spaghetti Sauce

Interesting TED talk from one of my favorite authors here.

Check this out

Quite the storm last week in Sioux Falls so new blog posts to come soon, but in the meantime, you can check out my brother-in-law Tyler's blog here.

A Hard Job

I recently was at a meeting with some teachers and was (again) reminded of how difficult the job is.  Standardized tests, new curriculum, staff meetings, grade-level meetings, preventing bullying, standardized tests, monitoring lunchrooms, monitoring recess, and did I mention standardized tests?!  There's lots of opinions on education and teachers and this isn't a post on the merits of those opinions.

But what almost each of those opinions and camps can agree on is the difficulty of being a teacher.  I see it each week as I spend some time in my kids' classroom, so while people are certainly entitled to their opinions of education, I suggest the 'walk a mile in someone's shoes' approach before setting up your soapbox.  

What We Talk About When We Talk About God

No doubt there is and will be many opinions on Rob Bell's new book and even more so on some of Bell's opinions on our culture's current moral and theological issues.  But after recently reading his new book, I am not sure what all of the fuss is about.  Of course, I think you can read something by someone and agree with parts while not agreeing with everything in a book (or every thought or opinion the author has).  So, with that in mind, some of my takeaways from the book:

• We’re an exotic blend of awesome and pathetic, extraordinary and lame, big and small.
• Which leads us to a crucial truth: there are other ways of knowing than only those of the intellect
• Science does an excellent job of telling me why I don’t have a tail, but it can’t explain why I find that interesting.
• This is because conviction and humility, like faith and doubt, are not opposites; they’re dance partners.  It’s possible to hold your faith with open hands, living with great conviction and yet at the same time humbly admitting that your knowledge and perspective will always be limited.
• Learning to water-ski requires a person to make the counterintuitive leap from trying to do what seems natural, which is to get yourself up onto the surface of the water, to trusting that the boat will do that work for you.  Which can take a few tries and often involves a lot of water up your suit.  I talk about the counterintuitive nature of learning to water-ski because at the heart of what Jesus teaches us about God is something called the gospel.  Gospel is an unexpected, foreign notion, a strange idea that cuts against many of the dominant ways we’ve all come to believe are how the world works.  My own personal note- as someone who waterskis and has helped people water ski, I love this analogy.  If I had a dollar for every time I've said "let the boat pull you up" . . . !
• Who do people who don’t pray, pray when they’re terrified?

Following Jesus Without a Prize?

What is the benefit to following Jesus?  Is there an incentive to following Jesus?  Of course there is!  The first incentive is pretty easy- follow Jesus and you’ll avoid hell.  That’s a pretty good incentive.  I mean, if you think of the gospel as something to sell, and all your other sales techniques have failed, then you simply play the hell card, because, really, who actually wants to go to a place of eternal damnation?  But, honestly, using the hell incentive is a bit passé for our postmodern times, so while we still have it in our bag of tricks, the incentive we’re most likely to play is the ‘better life’ incentive.  We talk about the gospel in terms of attaining peace, purpose, and mission.  We talk about Jesus in terms of allowing us to have a better life, because honestly, though we live in the land of milk and honey, our lives can still be empty and meaningless.  

What if the only reward to following Jesus is . . . Jesus?  Is that enough?  If there was no after life, would you still follow Jesus?  If you knew your life was going to get more difficult, and not easier, would you still follow Jesus?  I am not saying the incentives to following Jesus aren't real or valuable- they are.  But when Jesus talked about the gospel, the kingdom, there was more going on there then a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  

Orphan Justice

Some great takeaways from the new book  Orphan Justice:

• We as God’s people, will be judged for withholding justice from the oppressed and the orphan
• There’s a saying within the adoption and orphan care movement: “Adoption is not everyone, but caring for orphans is for everyone.”
• In 2007, slave traders brought in more profit than Starbucks, Google, and Nike combined.  Human trafficking is a lucrative business and therefore one that will not be easily stopped.
• If we want to stop sex trafficking, we must end the demand.
• If we are going to be like Jesus, we must rethink our tendency to obsess over how HIV/AIDS victims are infected rather than how we can help them.
• Unfortunately, poverty cannot be reduced to a mathematical equation.  Poverty is a culture.
• If Christians are not responsible to care for the needy, who is?
• If the mother-to-be does make the courageous choice to protect the life within her- a choice Christians say is the right choice- she is then often left to fend for herself (and, in my own personal experience, we discourage her from attending church summer camp, having her child dedicated in a worship service, attending youth group, etc).  We hush up this girl’s shameful secret, abandoning her at the time when she desperately needs love, support, and wisdom the most.

One way to care for orphans is a new ministry called Safe Families.  There's a Sioux Falls event on April 22nd at 6 PM.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Get a picture.

These are some of the words I utter most (or request the most!) from folks at Hillcrest (in addition to 'get a receipt'!).

When I first started in youth ministry, we took tons of pictures and then would put them in a powerpoint show, put some music to it, and it was a great way to highlight a winter camp or a mission trip.  Plus, who doesn't like seeing themselves on a giant screen- even if it is at a church?!  The only problem was sometimes the time between the event- say winter camp- and when we showed the pictures could be a week or two. Still fun, but the wait time to view the photos took something away.

Today, of course, all that has changed.  With Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and a host of other sites, there's virtually no wait time between the event and the pictures.  And while some may say there's too many pictures being shared on these sites, the potential for churches and non-profits is to use these places to share pictures.

I am no social media expert, but Hillcrest's Facebook page tends to get the most 'traffic' when we post pictures.  Someone getting baptized.  Cute kids performing a Palm Sunday song.  A 180 student at winter camp.  People like pictures and like seeing others in pictures.  And for a church, there's no better way to display what you're about then a picture.  

The Inefficiency of Check-Writing

I do not like checks.

If I write a check, and it gets cashed (or clears, to use the jargon I picked up from my brief time working at a bank) within a couple days, great.  I have no problems.

But if I write a check, and the receiver holds it for weeks or even months, this annoys me.  I have deducted the amount from my register (or spreadsheet, or similar tool), but the bank doesn't know this so my account is inflated until the check clears.

On a personal level, I can be ok with this.  You're busy or the fundraiser doesn't close for a week or you've turned over the check to the organization.  I get it.

But at work, if an organization isn't depositing checks in a timely manner, I think that says something about the organization.  Does the organization not need the money or the donation?  Are they unorganized?  Perhaps they are too busy to get their organization some money (because, until you deposit the check, I/we get the interest on that amount, not you, not to mention the actual amount of the check).

Hillcrest used to write lots of checks each month.  Most would clear in a timely fashion but some would sit there.  Begging to be cashed.  Those outstanding checks annoyed me.  So our finance guy suggested online bill pay.  Brilliant.  We now pay most of our vendors and mission partners through online bill pay.  The amount clears our account right away and keeps our cash flow as current as possible.

And it saves me from secretly judging how much you need (or don't need!) the payment we just sent you.

March Posts

Most popular posts from March:

• Social Media and Ministry
• Change and the Y
• You can't fool the Dentist

The Rules Haven't Changed

Some interesting thoughts from Don Miller here

Happy Families

Read the book Happy Families and it's great!  More thoughts to come soon, but for now, you can check out the TED talk from the author here with some of the book's biggest takeaways.