Friday, November 28, 2008

The church's role in raising better kids- part 2

Dr. Meeker's ends her book Boys Should Be Boys with ten tips for making sure you get it right. While I am little leery on such lists, Dr. Meeker's advice is solid. Tip 5, teach him to serve, especially caught my attention: "boys who do this (serve) learn patience and compassion. They lose false pride, but gain real humility. They learn that love is work, but that it is worth loving without expecting a reward. They learn a deeper, more mature sense of themselves, of others, and of the world. They talk less about themselves and ask more questions of the world. They look outward to see what needs repair and go about ways to bring change. Men who serve become better husbands and fathers because they have experienced the satisfaction that comes only through placing another's needs before their own" (235).

Of the 10 tips Meeker offers, churches seem best poised to offer their assistance here. And while I am certainly not a parenting expert, the few experiences I've had my 5 year old with me on a Wednesday Night have confirmed the uniqueness that happens when we serve others.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving



Much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving starting with my wonderful family! It's hard to believe that Tarina and I will have been married 10 years in August and that our oldest son is 5, but it's been an incredible journey. We'll be in Fargo this weekend celebrating with the Stroh family, which will be lots of fun (our boys have the weekend planned with Madagascar 2, a trip to the mall for Dinoland, and of course McDonald's). I am incredibly thankful for my mom and dad, my siblings and their spouses, and now two new nephews. We'll spend Christmas with Tarina's family and I too am very thankful for each of them.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Sioux Falls Furniture Mission

The Argus has a good and quick article on the Furniture Mission, a great organization that delivers gently-used furniture to folks who need it. The Furniture Mission is one of Hillcrest's Wednesday night partners and a great volunteer opportunity.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Christian Telemarketing?

Following up on yesterday's post, Christian telemarketing is an interesting phenomenon. Each week at Hillcrest we get several calls from Christian telemarketers about a host of products and services. Part of Christian telemarketing (and all telemarketing, for that matter) makes sense, at least on the surface. Most likely, Church A has bought an item from the caller before, and they are only trying to inform the customer of their newest product. In some ways, it's a form (albeit not a good one) of permission based marketing.

But in an era where millions of consumers have registered their phone numbers to avoid such tactics, one would think Christian publishers (and similar companies) would be moving away from telemarketing as a way to move their products and instead try one of these tactics:

  • Create a remarkable product- this isn't to rip on existing products, most of which are probably good, but to point out the fact that remarkable products really do not need telemarketers to sell them. Two examples would be Rob Bell's Nooma videos and the more dated Experiencing God curriculum, both of which have done (or did) well and both of which I can't remember receiving one call over.
  • Solve a problem- most telemarketing calls offer short term fixes (plug this program to train parents of teens) rather than solving holistic problems (how does this program fit into one's overall ministry to parents of teens?). One good holistic problem that faces most churches is the issue of security and children's ministries- how do we all we can to insure the safety of our kids? Group publishing solved the problem by creating a service that allows churches low cost background checks on potential volunteers as well as partnered with a national insurance agency that provides tips and information on other security issues. Because Group has solved a problem for me, I'm more inclined to let them interrupt my life (though Group does this very infrequently, which is another plus).
  • Consolidate- my bias is that there are too many Christian companies selling too many products that are too similar. What might happen if there were fewer companies that offered fewer, but better, products? There might be less interruption and more of a relationship between churches and companies.

These are just a couple suggestions, but as I wrote yesterday, the overarching question might be how churches move away from content-based programming as a whole altogether. In fact, the company that helps churches free their people from content-based groups and studies, might actually 'win' in the long run, though in the short term it might seem counter-intuitive.

Monday, November 24, 2008

The church's role in raising better kids

I would bet that one of the questions on most parents' minds, and especially those that attend churches such as Hillcrest, is how can I raise 'good' children (we'll resist the temptation to define 'good' here). Sensing this, Christian publishers have produced several church-based products and programs to answer this overriding question. In order to get the word out about these programs, these publishers follow a typical telemarketing campaign utilizing this thought process (we just a call this morning that followed this script):

  • church-going parents want to raise good children
  • church going parents look to the church for help in this area
  • if we want better children, we need better parents
  • if we want better parents, we need better to educate parents better
  • to better educate, we need to implement this ABC church-based program
  • to implement this ABC church based program, we then call churches and sell the program by dangling a 30 day risk-free trial
  • churches run the program and invite parents
  • interested parents then sign up for the program, but now must find something for their kids
  • churches then create either a kid program or offer to babysit kids
  • program runs with parents attending program and kids attending their alternative

One of my observations concerns the thought process that in order to produce a better parent, I need to get them to attend a church-based program. There is a counter-argument that if a parent wanted to raise better kids, they could bypass the program and thus spend that time they would spend at the program and spend it with their children (the same is also true for the children, that if we want to raise better children, we can bypass many of the activities that parents enroll their children in (sports, music, etc) and simply spend more time with them); see Dr. Meeker's new book for more on this argument.

In an era where families are busier than ever, and where the busyness may not be producing the results we desire, churches may need to rethink approaches that take up a families' time and only deliver content. If Dr Meeker's hypothesis is correct (or at least some of it is), churches may need to actually scale back on content-based programs in order to provide opportunities for families to spend time together.

Incidentally, Hillcrest's 180 Student Ministries has done such a thing once a month this fall, canceling their Student Ministries program for 'family night'. In September they played at a park, last month they had an in-house game night, and last night went bowling together.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Keeping score

This morning Pastor Doug concluded Hillcrest's three month Exodus series with a check on how we're doing as a church as we continue to pursue the idea of loving God and loving others. Reggie McNeal's The Present Future talks about how churches will need to rethink how they keep score, or how they know how well they are doing, instead of the traditional metrics of Sunday morning attendance and weekly monies given to the general offering. In recapping where we've been the last few months, Pastor Doug shared the following metrics:


  • Hillcrest has given away over $139,000 outside its walls in 2008. That's about $450 per Hillcrester (one of the gifts was 60 laptops to Cleveland Elementary School, pictured above).
  • Part of that amount includes over $15,000 for the Food Bank's backpack program, or enough food for 133 Sioux Falls children.
  • Over 140 Hillcresters paricipate in a Wednesday Night Service in an average month.
  • Hillcresters read with 33 Cleveland Elementary students on a weekly basis (covering 11 classrooms) and mentor 12 additional students.

We have a ways to go yet, and are far short on some of our goals, but we were reminded today that we are headed in a good direction.

Friday, November 21, 2008

A resource for tough times


This update article from the Argus shares how the Genesis Project just got United Way funding. The United Way's funds will help resource a full-time casework for the Community Outreach as well as provide matching funds for churches that decide to join the project (in my opinion, the United Way also adds considerable credibility to the project as well). As blogged about earlier, Hillcrest is joining this project and will be going public during Sunday's services with a goal for how many families we desire to partner with.
The additional funding for the new project probably couldn't come at a better time as Sioux Falls may be experiencing some of the ripples of the national economic slowdown. In this week's news alone, Sioux Falls learned of major layoffs at Citibank and additional layoffs at Lodgenet. While the impact to Sioux Falls workers is not yet known, the locals are getting jittery. I know of several folks who are nervous about their jobs, experiencing a cut back in hours, and/or looking for new or additonal employment.
We had one prayer request today from someone who wondered how the churches would deal with a probable increase in the needs that their people (and those outside their church) will have. While the Genesis Project is one such answer, the ironic reality could be that in a time such as this when needs will be on the rise, charitable donations could plateau or drop. To put it in economic terms, we could see a scarcity in available resources for people, as the demand for assistance increases while the supply of resources available to meet those needs remains static or contracts.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Homelessness in Sioux Falls

A great video here passed to me by our friends with the Sioux Falls Homelessness Coalition. One comment and one question:
  • First, it was good to see many of the organizations we're partnering with were featured in the video (St Francis House, Community Outreach, Food Bank, etc)
  • Second, what is the church's role in stamping out homelessness in Sioux Falls?

The advocacy and organization issues (stages 4 and 5) seem to be much more difficult to answer.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Could Sarah Palin pastor a church?

By now, Sarah Palin's impact on the 2008 election is well documented and well covered, includign even a piece in today's Argus Leader. One of the more interesting stories of the 2008 election was Sarah Palin's instant ability to 'energize the base', injecting passion and energy into many social conservatives who rank abortion and marriage amendments as two of their most important issues, and ones where John McCain had failed to sell the base on his position(s). What I find to be somewhat ironic is while Palin may have enegized the base, if she were to seek a leadership position in the churches whose members comprise some of the GOP base, she may find the path more difficult than the one to the White House. This article from a couple months ago reveals the struggle one magazine, and one denomination, continue to experience.

In Tickle's book The Great Emergence, she writes that the role of women, and the changing perceptions surrounding that role, seem to define significant shifts within human history. She writes "we should note as well that the re-definition of traditionally female roles across all the generations was, and still is, a principal contributor to shredding of the cable and the exposing of its parts."

As for the current shift that we are experiencing, the re-definition of traditional female roles began with World War 2 women working outside the home while their husbands were away at war and continues today with women making up as high a percentage of the American workforce as they ever have, leading to spinoff debates such as the 'working mom' vs. the 'stay at home mom'.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Where would the church fit in?

This article from today's Argus represents a stage 4 advocacy issue. The question would be how or where would the church fit in with this proposal to advocate for the poor?

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Church and the Poor

I came across this article from our paper over the weekend about the church, the gospel, and the connection to the poor. The piece is well-written in its articulation about the clear connection that ought to exist between followers of Jesus and those who are poor. The issue is gaining momentum throughout the American church, as Leadership Journal and Outreach Magazine both featured the issue in their most recent publications. I am sure by now that more and more followers of Jesus are being convinced of the importance of connecting the gospel with those are most under-resourced, whether in our own communities or throughout the world; in other words, there don't seem to be that many 'why' questions when it comes to the gospel and poverty. There are, however, many 'how' questions, in terms of what churches ought to be doing and how they go about accomplishing it.

A couple of weeks ago I was introduced to a helpful model that brings clarity to the 'how' questions churches seeking to connect with the poor are asking. The model consists of five stages, with stage one being the easiest and also the least impactful and rising in terms of both difficulty and impact until you reach stage five:
  • Referral (Stage 1): most churches do well here. How this practically works is someone either calls the church or physically drops in with a need, and church staff or people know where to refer them to: a mission, a thrift store, a food pantry, a soup kitchen. A person's needs are met, we've done something to help, but the impact is fairly minimal. For most of my life, this is what we've always done in the churches that I've been a part of.
  • Direct Service (Stage 2): a bit more difficult and a bit more impactful, churches here actually serve the people with the needs. This includes much of what we do on a Wednesday night and also anytime a church participates in serving at a soup kitchen, a thrift store, a mission, etc. It's a bit more challenging and a little more impactful, but still not much being done in terms of breaking the cycle of generational poverty.

After stage, the progress becomes much more difficult, but also much more impacting. Most churches stop at stage two whereas the current movement invites churches to continue to explore the remaining three stages:

  • Education (Stage 3): this is where a church or a group from the church participates in the education process of someone who is poor. When you read Ruby Payne you understand that in order for people to make it out of generational poverty, they need to have relationships with people from the middle class in order to learn the 'rules' that we take for granted (things like meal planning, basic parenting, budgeting, the ins and out of the educational system, etc). In stage 3, churches become the mentor for the working poor attempting to help provide some education to help break this cycle. In Sioux Falls, one such initiative is the Genesis Project, led by the Community Outreach, which Hillcrest will begin participating in next month.
  • Advocacy (Stage 4): here the church begins to systematically address issues connected with the working poor, whether its transportation (a big issue in Sioux Falls as public transit ends at 7 or 7:30 leaving people without public transit for late shift jobs), housing, etc.
  • Organizing and development (stage 5): where the church is a centerpiece along with the school and other service agencies to holistically address the needs of the poor within a community.

The 'how' questions will continue to persist but this model at least gives churches a platform to consider for how to live out the truths of the gospel.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

How do you pick a church?

At first take this is a question I'll admit I have very litte experience with as I'm not sure I've really ever 'picked' a church being that I've received a check from a church in some fashion for about 10 years. But being at Hillcrest for the last 6 years and hearing the testimonies of many people wanting to join Hillcrest as members, I'm struck at the varied reasons for why people decide to join a church:
  • Friendliness- some folks pick a church because it's friendly; Hillcrest for the most is a pretty friendly church and some will stick simply because of a welcoming and inviting environment.
  • Denomination- this is fairly typical, though less common now, for people to pick a church in the same denomination that they grew up in.
  • Programs- certainly some will pick a church because of the programs it offers such as a youth ministry, a children's ministry, Sunday School, AWANA, Bible studies, etc.
  • Personnel- some will choose a church because of the Sunday morning personnel, whether that's the senior pastor (he preaches a good message), the worship team (it's contemporary, it's traditional, it's blended, etc), etc.

This past Tuesday we heard testimonies from 4 people wanting to join Hillcrest as members, and for the first time that I can remember, none of them gave one of the four reasons mentioned above as their reason for membership. Instead, each person identified wanting to join Hillcrest as a member because of our mission to love God and to love other people. For me, this is an encouraging trend, for it suggests that the people who choose to worship and stay at Hillcrest do so for her mission abover her programs or personnel. For me, this is encouraging because one of our core values of service to the community is being picked up by our people, and not just something that we have on a piece of paper or that only our leaders believe.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

"Not Yet"

Seth Godin has a new book out called Tribes. Couple of great thoughts from it:

  • The secret of being wrong isn’t to avoid bring wrong! The secret is being willing to be wrong. The secret is realizing that wrong isn’t fatal.
  • The largest enemy of change and leadership isn’t a “no”. It’s a ”not yet”. “Not yet” is the safest, easiest way to forestall change. “Not yet” gives the status quo a chance to regroup and put off the inevitable for just awhile longer. Change almost never fails because it’s too early. It almost always fails because it’s too late. By the time you realize that your corner of the world is ready for an innovation, it’s almost certainly too late. It’s definitely not too early. There’s a small price for being too early, but a huge penalty for being too late. The longer you wait to launch an innovation, the less your effort is worth.

I enjoy both statements, but I certainly resonate with the last one. Last year as we were kicking around the idea of the Wednesday Night Service, some of the initial feedback we got from focus groups was this “not yet” kind of thinking. Some of the fears and concerns included

  • the absence of a midweek children’s programming and the related fear of whether or not kids could truly benefit from the experience of serving
  • the risk of going too fast and trying to temper the movement with a hybrid model of once a month or every other week
  • the concern that people might be too tired from the day’s work or home life to gear up and serve others; the beauty of the program, though, is that it puts participation in the hands of the participant, whereas with a small group or a kids program, you almost had to attend for the program truly depended on you. You can now miss a Wednesday night, jump back in the next week, and not miss a beat.
  • Whether we we’re too early or there would be enough to do that would fit our very constrained time frame of Wednesday nights; (I honestly was a bit concerned with this as well, but in fact we have found that there is more to do than our group could ever pull off; we’ve had to become choosier about the opportunities we do participate in.)

This isn’t to minimize the importance of those thinkers and church people who are more realistic or pragmatic in their thinking and processing. Those folks sharpened and strengthened Wednesday Nights. But if Hillcrest would have waited, if we would have listened to the “not yets”, we probably wouldn’t be where we are at today. And we probably wouldn’t have received emails like this one:

I am very thankful for your forethought in coming up with this idea of taking the church outside the walls. I’m thankful for the Service opportunities you line up each week. I’m thankful for the opportunity you’ve given me to get involved in the church & to meet other Hillcresters in comfortable settings. (I’m pretty sure if we were just having a Service in the Church, I wouldn’t be there.) I’m thankful to be a part of a congregation that I believe does things to glorify God & not just to make ourselves look or feel good! I’m thankful for the opportunity to volunteer & to make a difference in my community. I’ve always gotten much more fulfillment from volunteering than I get from a day at work.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Backpack Buddies

Hillcrest is pretty involved with this program, and the Argus Leader once again named it as their focus charity for the 2008 holiday season; check out the article here.

Hillcrest also serves with this program about once a month, and we do it next this Wednesday, November 19th. Let me know if you're interested.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Can't wait til Wednesday

I voted earlier today, and now that I have, I can't wait until tomorrow because then this will all be over. In the elections of 2000 and 2004 I was glued to network and cable television burning hours in front of the tube and anxiously awaiting the results as intense as when I follow my fantasy football team online on Sundays! But tonight, I doubt I will watch little if any television, preferring to find out the result tomorrow and then getting on with life. Part of what has made this election season so disappointing for me, other than the lack of a good candidate, is what it has revealed in those of us who claim to follow Jesus, both those Christians on the right and the left. I've gotten many emails, forwards, and casual conversations from those on the right who are downright scared of the opposite party's candidate. Their fear leads them to make questionable (and even absurd) claims based on rumor rather than fact (Obama is a Muslim or Obama is the anti-christ) and leaves them searching the scriptures for obscure connections between the Bible's book of Revelation and this election (seriously, just got an email this afternoon). Fearing an Obama presidency, some of these folks make dark predictions such as the loss of religious freedom, more incidences of abortion, more legislative judges, and an overall loss of the judeo-christian morals that they believe the country was founded upon.

The pundits and the blogs for the Christian left, though, also leave me discouraged because their fervor and passion is essentially the same as the right's, though it is the same fervor and passion they dislike about the Christian right. While in 2000 and 2004 one could argue that Bush was the evangelical choice, in 2008 one could argue that Obama is now the evangelical choice, at least among younger evangelicals. One can get the sense that an Obama presidency will save our country from its current downward through seemingly inconsistent policies such as slashing taxes for middle and lower income brackets while also increasing government spending with new programs such increased health care.

Few would argue that our country, and our world, has serious issues and problems that need addressing- too many to indicate in a post- economic issues, ecological issues, social issues, justice issues, human rights issues. I think as Christians we're misguided if we believe that a candidate or a party is going to usher in God's kingdom or speed up God's will. If we were to practice some of what Jesus left for us in the New Testament, might we (and not a party or a government) have greater control or influence when it came to these issues that are so important to us? What if all of us who followed Christ . . .
  • tithed? At a church the size of Hillcrest's, we'd almost double our budget. Being free of debt, we'd have more to give away to orphans and widows, to those that needed it. And when you multiply that across all churches, now you're talking about funds that could do some serious damage (health care? homelessness? poverty? these issues would be within reach with the tithes of the saints).
  • volunteered outside of our churches? Imagine the church helping trouble schools improve their reading and math scores. Imagine the church providing mentors for children who have no other steady adult influences in their lives. Imagine the church providing job training, financial training, and parental training out of a relationship with people.

Well, that's enough for now. Hopefully, you voted. And hopefully, if we follow Jesus, we will continue to seek his kingdom first, regardless of who runs our governmental kingdoms.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Halloween? Fall Festival? Harvest Party?

I came across this article (free registration required to read the article) from my hometown newspaper, The Fargo Forum, regarding some families' decision not to participate in Halloween. This continues to be one of those 'hot topics' within Christian circles, as some families choose to participate in the festivities while others opt to abstain from the tricks and the treats. Ever since I've been in paid church ministry, this has been an issue I haven't been able to get away from either. As a youth pastor, I was encouraged not to have Halloween parties or events. So we'd call them harvest parties or fall festivals. There were a couple of problems with this as 1) teenagers don't normally celebrate fall festivals and 2) with the costumes and the candy, our fall festivals didn't look much different than the 'pagan' Halloween parties, with their candy and costumes. If families like the ones in this article abstain from anything Halloween related, including church-sponsored candy and games, I can respect (though disagree with) their stance. But too often we in church like what the world is doing (who doesn't like getting some candy or seeing little kids dressed up?!?) but are uncomfortable with the origins, so we steal the candy and the costumes and then 'christianize' it by calling it a festival or asking that no scary costumes enter our Family Life Center.



I will not argue that the events surrounding Halloween have 'pagan' roots. Early on, the Church tried to redeem the holdiay with a celebration on November 1 called All Saints Day (though few have probably heard of it unless you're Catholic). Even more interesting, though, is how many of the holidays that Christians do hold sacred, including Christmas and Easter, have pagan roots as well. Ever wonder why Easter doesn't have a set Sunday, like Christmas or Halloween? Obvioulsy the dates that Jesus died and rose from the dead are set in history, so why does Easter move around? It's because it's based off the moon's movement, and is a certain number of Sundays after a certain moon movement. Jesus most likely was not literally born on December 25th. And that doesn't take into account other traditions such as trees, lights, gifts, bunnies, and chocolate. So why stands like the one this family takes might be commendable, do we apply the same reasoning or logic to other celebrations?

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