The church's role in raising better kids

I would bet that one of the questions on most parents' minds, and especially those that attend churches such as Hillcrest, is how can I raise 'good' children (we'll resist the temptation to define 'good' here). Sensing this, Christian publishers have produced several church-based products and programs to answer this overriding question. In order to get the word out about these programs, these publishers follow a typical telemarketing campaign utilizing this thought process (we just a call this morning that followed this script):

• church-going parents want to raise good children
• church going parents look to the church for help in this area
• if we want better children, we need better parents
• if we want better parents, we need better to educate parents better
• to better educate, we need to implement this ABC church-based program
• to implement this ABC church based program, we then call churches and sell the program by dangling a 30 day risk-free trial
• churches run the program and invite parents
• interested parents then sign up for the program, but now must find something for their kids
• churches then create either a kid program or offer to babysit kids
• program runs with parents attending program and kids attending their alternative

One of my observations concerns the thought process that in order to produce a better parent, I need to get them to attend a church-based program. There is a counter-argument that if a parent wanted to raise better kids, they could bypass the program and thus spend that time they would spend at the program and spend it with their children (the same is also true for the children, that if we want to raise better children, we can bypass many of the activities that parents enroll their children in (sports, music, etc) and simply spend more time with them); see Dr. Meeker's new book for more on this argument.

In an era where families are busier than ever, and where the busyness may not be producing the results we desire, churches may need to rethink approaches that take up a families' time and only deliver content. If Dr Meeker's hypothesis is correct (or at least some of it is), churches may need to actually scale back on content-based programs in order to provide opportunities for families to spend time together.

Incidentally, Hillcrest's 180 Student Ministries has done such a thing once a month this fall, canceling their Student Ministries program for 'family night'. In September they played at a park, last month they had an in-house game night, and last night went bowling together.