10 Things You Don't Know

My wife tagged me for the popular number game thing going around on Facebook.  However, the number of things is longer than I would normally post on Facebook, so I'll put them on the blog instead, and still keeping with the game's spirit!

1. I had to be rescued by the summer camp lifeguard because I wasn't making it swimming to the 'dock' in 3rd grade.
2. In later elementary school, I was hit by a car riding my bike home from my friend's house as the tornado sirens were going off.
3. I played "Scrooge" in our 6th grade production of "A Christmas Carol".
4. In junior high, I was at a friend's house.  He took out his dad's handgun, pointed it in my direction while jokingly saying "stick 'em up", and accidentally fired it.  The bullet whizzed by my ear and we spent the next hour patching up the ceiling.
5. In high school I ran a red light and t-boned a car.  I wrecked my parents' van and sent the family who was driving the other car to the hospital.  
6. As Hillcrest's youth pastor, I had to call the police to the church at least three times for different 'things', had to visit with a county sheriff for a 'thing' on a mission trip, and also was kicked out of Fargo's mall while making a stop there for lunch on yet another trip.  
7. I worked at a bank in college.  One Saturday, the other person I was working with left a few minutes before closing time, leaving me to lock up the vault and the rest of the bank.  I could't get the vault locked, which triggered an alarm, which sent police to the bank, which turned into me not being able to go home for a few hours. 
8. I was the first male dining room host at Crystal Springs.  I know, I know- explains a lot.  Save the jokes!
9. My best friend and I had a paint fight while painting our college's kitchen and dining hall.  Our boss came in right after we had thrown around some paint so we had to 'explain' that the paint had spilled.
10. In grad school, I was part of a team that took a high school group on a mission trip to Mexico.  On our way back to the states, we were still in Mexico, about a half mile away from the border, when 'nature called'.  I couldn't hold it any longer, and since we were in bumper to bumper traffic leading to the border, I got out of the van and relieved myself among some shrubs along the median.

The Downfalls of Group Work

When I first started teaching at a local college, I made it a priority to assign group projects.  The administration highly encouraged it as a way of preparing students for work in the real world where you often need to play well with others in order to get things done.

I ditched group projects after a couple semesters.

Those still able to recall their own educational experiences already know why.  One or two highly motivated students do most of the work.  Another one or two students put in just enough effort to be offended at the other one to two students who do nothing, but really didn't give the project their 'all'.  Theoretically, everyone receives the same grade which is a boon for the freeloaders but a startling disappointment to the achievers.

Every time I assigned a group project, I'd get the same result.  Almost every group had someone not show up on the day of the presentations.  The presentation suffered.  If the group was pitching a business plan, the person who was missing was supposed to provide the marketing plan.  Quite the whole in the project!  The achievers would then hang around after class and tattle- who did what, who didn't, etc.  And this was college.

There's a place for group work.  There's a place for rewarding the whole (a class, a group, a team, etc) when the whole is collectively working together to achieve something.

But if that isn't the case, if there's some part of the whole who's decided not to pursue the agreed upon objective (an unruly student who continually gets detention, which costs the entire class some corporate incentive or a lazy athlete or musician who costs the entire team or band a prize or a win, etc), then we shouldn't do it.  Better to reward the individual (and send positive reinforcement signals to everyone) then to penalize the group because of an individual (and send negative reinforcement signals to those who desire to achieve more).

David and Goliath

A few takeaways from Malcolm Gladwell's new book:

• Much of what we consider valuable in our world arises out of these kinds of lopsided conflicts, because the act of facing overwhelming odds produces greatness and beauty.
• Underdog strategies are hard
• Money stops making people happier at a family income of around seventy-five thousand dollars a year.  After that, what economists call “diminishing marginal returns” sets in.
• There are times and places where it is better to be a Big Fish in a Little Pond than a Little Fish in a Big Pond
• Courage is what you earn when you’ve been through the tough times and discover they aren’t so tough after all

And, if I coached a basketball team where the league allowed 'full-court presses', I'd do that too!

Choose Goals You Can Control

I am not the first person to say this, but we could all benefit by choosing goals we can directly have some control over.

Often times, we judge our success based on some external factor or factors that we have no control over.  In the church world, this might mean attendance at events, positive feedback after a message or an event, giving, etc.  In education, it might mean student test scores or how well behaved the class is.

While those are fine benchmarks and things to measure, I can't physically control attendance.  Or feedback.  Or giving.  So while I need to track those things, I can't necessarily measure success off of them.

But, and this is one of those big buts, there are tons of things I can do that can impact those measurements.  If I am teaching, did I use all of the creative resources available to me to convey my lesson?  Did I do all I can to make our church as friendly to guests as possible?

These and hosts of other questions are actually better goals because they are ones I can do something about.

The Story You Tell Yourself

A couple of blogs I read have been hitting on the same topic lately.  One is here and the other is here.

My son has a saying painted in his Spider-man room that reads "you are the hero of your own story".

Essentially, the story you and I tell ourselves matters.

If you tell yourself a story where you the are the victim, life never goes right for you, and you have no ability to control or influence your life, chances are your story ends up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

On the other hand, if you tell yourself a story where you are the main character, the protagonist, the one who gets to make decisions and gets to have some say on how your life goes, chances are you'll get different results.

Management and behavioral gurus calls this locus of control.  Those with an external locus of control are the first group; those with an external locus of control are the second.

Which are you?

Multipliers

Recently read this book after seeing the author speak at a conference and wanted to offer some takeaways:

• Children given a series of progressively harder puzzles and praised for their intelligence stagnate for fear of reaching the limit of their intelligence.  Children given the same series of puzzles but then praised for their hard work actually increased their ability to reason and to solve problems. 
• Talent managers give credit, empire builders take credit.  
• You don’t get the most out of people if you just tell them what to do.  You get full effort if you help people discover opportunity and then challenge themselves.·        
• Diminishers give answers.  Good leaders ask questions. Multipliers ask the really hard questions.  They ask the questions that challenge people not only to think but to rethink.
• In an intense discussion, consider having people switch sides and argue for the position they are arguing against.  Or to have people argue from the perspective of an area or department outside of their own
• The cost of an opinion is evidence

Seth Godin on Bullying

Some food for thought here

So, We Gonna Do That?

We launched a new ministry initiative this month at Hillcrest.  It's a ministry that takes time and you welcoming in children into your home, so it's a little harder and messier than a one time giving or serving opportunity.

After we shared some information on the ministry, one of our children turns to my wife and says, "So, we gonna do that?".

Ah, umm, not sure, we'll see . . .

My children are far from perfect, but I love their faith.  Childlike.

And, we'll see  . . .

The Paralysis of Focus

This past week, Hillcresters

• made a meal for the teachers and staff at Cleveland Elementary
• donated items and money for shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child through our children's ministries
• made 10 fleece blankets for under-resourced high school students in the Sioux Falls area
• purchased and donated items from the wish lists at Children's Inn and Children's Home Society

Some might say that while those projects are good, it could look like we're spread to thin.  Some might say it is better to focus on a couple of projects and really do well instead of doing many and risking a mediocre effort.

Often times, I agree with those sentiments.  Any organization can spread itself too thin by doing too many things at an average level instead of doing a couple things at an excellent level.

The problem, though, is when we use the focus sentiment as an excuse.  

Better to jump in and do too much as opposed to saying you want to focus on something and yet never do it.

The Point of a Presentation

Remember this next time you are presenting anything

Keep Pursuing

Each Friday morning I get together with several guys- right now, we're talking about this .

Our first chapter from this book talks about for guys, dating is like playing a game and getting married is like the game is over.  When we dated our spouses, we wooed.  We were thoughtful.  We pursued.  And then we got married, and saw life like these shirts.

The problem is that many of us guys stop pursuing or pursue less.  We no longer leave notes, send flowers, or do the things that we did when we were dating because we've accomplished the point- marriage.

And yet as we learned a couple weeks ago, the reality is that we need to keep pursuing.  After marriage, dating our spouse, pursuing our spouse, is just as important as it was before the marriage.

Do You Have Hope?

I was reading in 1 Peter the other day and came across the familiar section in chapter 3 where Peter encourages his audience to be prepared to give a reason for the hope that they have.

The key to this verse, though, is that you have to have hope.

Without hope, you're not living in a way where people will feel compelled to ask you anything.  Your life won't look too much different then yours.

This isn't about living a plastic Christianity.  Of course we'll have struggles, temptations, failures, doubts, and worries.  This doesn't mean we gloss over those things so that we look like we have hope.

No, we wrestle with them, share them, work on them, all because of the hope we have in Jesus.

Do you have hope?

Trafficking and Cupcakes

One interesting story of how to show God's love to an 'industry' few want to talk about.

How Do You Read the Bible?

Some interesting thoughts here

7%

Interesting blog to pass along

Have to or Get to?

There are certain things on my schedule, my to do list, or within my budget that are things I have to do.

Even things that I used to think were optional- like purchasing books at the school's book fair or from a book order- I soon realized these were things I was going to have to do (I realize I still have choice, but you know what I mean!).

And with these things, I'd get crabby about them.  Moan about the cost.  Complain about the schedule.  Whine about the time.

Then I came across this blog entry.

Lately, I've been making these lists more mornings than not and really appreciating the benefit of seeing these activities through the lens of "Get to" rather than "Have to".

Because if I get to do something, I'm more likely to enjoy it/learn from it/be positive about it than if I have to do it.

Don't Do This

Whatever your thoughts on Halloween, don't do this!

Past Thoughts on Halloween

Tomorrow is Halloween- so I thought I'd share my past thoughts on this here and here.

And if you're in SF, we're handing out full-size candy bars at the Stroh house.

The Problem with Halloween

It's not what you think (that post comes tomorrow!) but good thoughts nonetheless

Why Do Teachers Quit?

Interesting article here.

What can you do to help the teachers you know stay in the ring?

Seth Godin on Anger

Some really good stuff here

So Blessed

October is Pastor Appreciation Month and I am quite confident no one does it better than my friends at Hillcrest!

Seriously, this month I've been blessed with

• encouraging notes and cards each day of the month
• a meal each week from a different Hillcrest family
• several gift cards to different places 
• recognition and prayer not just for me but also for my wife and our kids

I have the incredible opportunity to work alongside such a caring, giving, and compassionate church!  When you visit with other pastors and hear their stories, I am reminded even more of how blessed I am.  I don't ever want to take that for granted.

Thank you!!!

Your Best Work or Doing What Needs to Be Done?

One day in graduate school, I completely forgot about 5 page paper due that day in class.  So, I skipped chapel (actually, more correctly, I skipped shooting pool with my other chapel-skipping buddies, but that's for a different post!), ran home, whipped out a 5 page paper, and completed the assignment on time.  However that paper was definitely not my best work.
There are times in life when you do what you need to do in order to survive and advance.

We each need grace that every assignment, every paper, every presentation, every call, or every meeting isn't going to be our best.  If every thing we did was our best, then we'd need a different definition of "best".

Do that too often, though, and pretty soon you've accepted a different (and lower) standard for what qualifies as your best work.  We need to avoid that temptation too.

Values are not Aspirations

Each time I teach an Ethics course at a local tech college, I assign a case study on values.

Specifically, students need to identify his or her top 5 values and explain why those are values.

The kicker is the student also needs to provide evidence as to why a value is actually a value.

If there's no evidence of a value, it's not a value.  You can call it an aspiration or a goal or a challenge, but you can't call it a value.

For instance, you'll hear folks say something like "I really value generosity" or "I value learning" or "I value challenging work".  But if there's no evidence of generosity or learning or challenging work in this person's life, then this is not a value.

That person may want to value that value or set a goal to attain that value, and that's all fine and good, but then say it.

Your values are what you value.  Right now.

Some Good Marriage Advice

You can find it here

Knowledge Puffs Up

Classic post from Don Miller

Let the Children Come

Another organization we volunteer with recently informed me that kids could no longer volunteer there.

I was disappointed.  Very disappointed.  We've volunteered for years with this organization and the event we did with them was a highlight, especially for the kids who got to volunteer.

And yet I understand the rationale.  The reasons for the policy are smart, rational, and in the organization's best interests.

We need more volunteer opportunities for children.  It is as simple as that.

And while I understand non-profits having age limits or policies not permitting kids to volunteer at all, I also see the irony in that these same non-profits (some, not all) often struggle with finding volunteers or donors or both.

In the interest of safety and keeping legal happy (not to mention insurance companies), we say kids have to be old enough to work a part-time job in order to serve or we say they can't serve at all.

Fair enough.

But as the kids get older, they will find themselves in a position to donate time or resources to these non-profits.

You know who has the best chance of getting these now grown kids' time and resources?  The ones who let them have an impact as a child.

Your Life as a Movie

Our small group has been working through this material and really enjoying it.  In our last meeting, we were asked to consider giving our life "a theme".

So if your life was a movie, what would be put on the poster?

Or, if your life was a book, what would the caption or title be?

Too often, I think, we settle into accepting our themes as our roles.  I'm a husband or wife, I'm a mother or a father, I'm a banker or teacher or nurse or firefighter or doctor or pastor, so we see our life's theme through the lens of our role(s).

While role(s) are important- and we get to their importance later in the curriculum- the theme is also important.

So, what say you?  What's the theme of your life thus far?

Motivated or Paralyzed?

Very early in my work in ministry, a parent of a student in my youth group told me "and well, we both know you're not very good at that."

The parent said it jokingly, but in the way where the joke was meant to convey the real truth.

I jokingly agreed, but in the way to defuse some tension and not confront the hurt the comment caused me.

Because the thing the parent said I wasn't good at, I actually thought I was good at.

This isn't a 'woe is me' post.  Not looking for sympathy.  It is a 'what do you with that feedback' kind of post.

My initial reaction was hurt.  I was wounded.  The comments stung, my pride was attacked, and the quality of my work (and let's not kid ourselves, I wrap my ego into my work like most people) showed cracks, at least in this person's opinion.

You usually have several options when you get feedback such as this:

• Refuse to accept any of it- we usually do this when we don't trust the source of the feedback.  In this story, I could have easily done this, because I didn't have a lot of trust in this source.  Doing this, though, prevents any learning from happening.
• Become paralyzed by it- we're tempted to do this if we too have the same doubts, so we say things like "I do stink at that" or "you're right, and I am a horrible person because I stink at it".  This isn't helpful either.  You may in fact stink at it because you have a lack of experience in this area (in which case you simply need more experience) or you actually do stink at it (in which case you may need to delegate that task or surround yourself with people who excel at that).
• Become motivated by it- I was taken aback by the comment but sifted through them and found some truth there.  I knew I had the capability to be good at the area where the parent said I wasn't, but I needed to devote some energy into it.  \

Talent is good, but all of the talent in the world won't matter if you don't put some work into it.

What You Won't Find On A New Year's Resolution List

No one actually has the goal of "watching more TV".

None of us intentionally sit down and think, you know, this year, I need to watch more TV.  Catch up on some shows, maybe start a couple of new ones.

And yet I know I can be guilty of living my life like that.  Football games, baseball playoffs, new shows, reruns of old shows, shows online, shows to watch for the sole purpose of feeling connected to "what everyone else seems to be watching".

My kids will sometime whine at the end of particularly busy (though activity-filled and enriching) day with the complaint 'but we didn't get to watch any shows'.

My response is something along the lines of "my goal in life isn't to give you more time to watch shows".

What could we do/become/create if we watched less TV?

For Men Only

6 dudes . . .  at 6 AM on Fridays. . . discussing this book . . . gonna be good!

There are Good People . . .

and then there are really good people.  My cousin's family definitely falls into the latter.  Check out their blog here.

Parental Wisdom

Some wisdom for parents out there, courtesy of my brother-in-law.

Losing

With 2 kids in football and 2 kids in soccer, we've been to lots of games this fall.  And for whatever reason, the teams- all of them- have lost.  A lot!  Even in the games where score isn't 'kept', anyone with half a mind could still 'tell' the outcome (and while score may not officially be kept, everyone- kids, parents, coaches- IS keeping score!).  Winning is fun.  Losing is not fun.  Typing those words seems almost too simplistic, and yet they are true.  As much as we try to de-emphasize winning and making sure everyone has fun, the truth is, most people have more fun when they are winning (even my notoriously non-competitive wife has the rule that we can't stop playing Uno until she wins a hand!).

That being said, there are some benefits to losing:

• Losses reveal areas of improvement- no team wins every game, and when a team loses a game, it shows you where you need to make improvements.  If you never had the feedback of a loss, you might be tempted to never improve.
• Losses reveal your darksides- maybe it's just my darksides(!), but when I am losing, I begin to question the other team's motives, I argue with officials, I challenge calls.  I am much less likely to do these things when I am winning, so when I am losing, I come face to face with the less-desirable parts of my personality.
•  Losses make you appreciate the wins- doesn't matter if youth sports, professional sports, grades in school, elections, whatever the contest- when you've lost at it, it makes you appreciate the wins all the more.

Safe Families as an Alternative to Foster Care

Next month, Hillcrest is going to be exploring the feasibility of starting a Safe Families ministry- a couple of other churches have already started one and with good results.  You can learn more about Safe Families by clicking on this link but essentially, Safe Families looks to provide short term housing to children of under-resourced families.  These are children who don't need foster care (i.e. their parents aren't in prison, the children haven't been abused, etc) but who would otherwise end up in foster care without a Safe Family.  Perhaps a parent is jobless and now homeless or a parent might be entering treatment- situations where temporarily staying with a Safe Family is preferable to the wheels of the foster care system.

I am not sure what this will look like at Hillcrest but it is an interesting ministry concept.

An Opportunity for Churches

Since a local TV station ran a story on Hillcrest and our focus on adoptions, we've received several calls and inquiries as to whether our program is available for people outside of our church.  Sadly, we've explained that our program is currently for Hillcresters (and to this point, we've had no shortage of Hillcrest families needing assistance).

The stories we hear, though, are very real and often times painful.  Families who can not have kids starting an international adoption.  Families who can not have kids after trying everything looking at domestic adoption.  Families who have everything lined up and simply need some assistance with the legal paperwork of an adoption.

If there's one thing we've learned about adoptions, it is that they are expensive.  This post isn't to debate why they are so expensive, only to highlight that they are.  Families struggle the most with the costs associated with the adoption process, and those high costs present an amazing opportunity for churches looking to 'defend the cause of the orphan'.

When To End a Mentoring Relationship

This is the first school year in several years that I haven't been in a school-based mentoring relationship.

And it was I who decided not to mentor this year.

I have mentored two students over the past few years.  Both started at elementary school and continued to middle school.  Both, not surprisingly, began to fizzle in later middle school when we were forced to talk in the middle school library as opposed to being able to shoot hoops or play games at elementary school.  But as tough as it was, I stuck it out.  Mostly, because I was convinced the student 'needed' it.  That if I quit, I'd be just another adult who quit on the student.  And, if I am honest, I felt guilty, and my fear of failure and quitting kept me going.

But not this year.

So, why did I stop this year?  And when might you need to make a change in a mentoring relationship?

• When your 'life stage' changes- when I started mentoring, I didn't have any kids in school.  Now, all four of mine are at the same school.  My wife and I commit to volunteering an hour in their various classrooms each week.  So while I am not mentoring, I am getting to help Eyob with math and Esther with writing.  So, mentoring takes on a different form.
• When guilt is your only motivator- I understand- probably more than most- that working with kids (and especially tweens and teens) is difficult work.  The academics will tell you that while students will say to your face they don't want you (as a mentor, as a parent, as a coach, etc), that deep down inside, they do.  While that's all fine and good, if you hear that as a mentor, you begin to question the investment you're making.  Soon, guilt is the only reason you're showing up.  While there are times you need to stick it out, if guilt is the only reason you're showing up, get out.
• When there's a mismatch- look, we like to pretend that any adult can have an impact on any kid, but really, the more the kid and adult have in common, the better. 

I am sure there are other reasons to stop a mentoring relationship- what others might you add?

Where Your Kids Attend School

Interesting take on the topic here.

Bonus- my high school tennis doubles partner sends his daughters to the same school.

When a Gift is not a Gift

Interesting insight from Seth Godin on gift cards . . . if you can call them that!

Good Reminder for Parents

You can find it here

Storyline and God's Will for Your Life

One of the more frequent questions I get asked as a pastor centers on God's will for a person's life.  To be more specific, the questions usually relate to family, friends, and careers/jobs.  What does God want for these essential parts of our lives?  There tends to be two ways to look at these types of questions.  The first is from a determined perspective, where God has a specific person for you to marry, a specific number of children for you to have, and a specific job and company and position you are to have and it's up to you to decipher the 'closed doors' and 'open windows' to get to these specifics.

If that's your perspective, this blog post may not be for you!

The second is a free will perspective, where God gives people choices on these matters, where there is no right answer, and yet God leads through you and in you to the choices that best suit you.  There's more tools available than ever to help you determine God's plan for your life, and one we recently began working through with our small group is Storyline.  Storyline looks at your life like a character in a movie.  It's written in user-friendly terms.  It's considers your life's ups and downs, your abilities and roles, and aims to conduct your storyline- how God has wired you- to make a difference in God's world.  You can do Storyline on your own, in a group, or with a life coach and it's really inexpensive ($30) for the material you are getting.

Storyline is similar to another program I did a few years ago and that our church also offers and is also good.

The key- both focus on your past and how God has wired you as keys to discovering what God wants you to be/do.

One Good Shot

Been reading a book called The Energy Bus on the recommendation of a friend and noticed an interesting takeaway.  The book is a fictional story designed to impart truths or the learning.  In the midst of the story, the main character is challenged to review each day like a golf game.  At the end of a golf game, you remember and talk about your good shots (or so I am told, as I am an epic failure at golf!).  Even if you had a terrible round, you'll remember the sweet drive you hit on #3 or the long putt you made on #7.  It's what keeps golfers coming back.  If all you did was reflect on the negative shots, why even bother dropping serious coin to relive that experience?

But the author says that's exactly what we do with our days- our interactions at work, our interactions with our family, etc.  We reflect on the negatives and the missed opportunities rather than remembering the successes and the good moments.

What if we remembered the good shots of our day and focused on getting more of those?

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Hillcrest gave away free gas last month- you can read the article here.

What's even more interesting than the article, though, is the comments from some who questioned the giveaway, had better ideas on what to do with the money, etc.

Haters gonna hate.

KELO Piece on Hillcrest

KELO did a piece on Hillcrest's adoption program.

Malcolm Gladwell and David and Goliath

In advance of his new book by the same name, Malcolm Gladwell provides some interesting perspective on the well-known Biblical story of David and Goliath.

The Price of Privilege

Really good parenting book here.

Some takeaways:

• Parents who persistently fall on the side of intervening for their child, as opposed to supporting their child’s attempt to problem-solve, interfere with the most important task of childhood and adolescence: the development of a sense of self. 
• We can be overinvolved in the wrong things, and underinvolved in the right things, both at the same time.
• Research and common sense tell us that anxious parents make anxious children.  Children take their cues from their parents. 
• It is when a parent’s love is experienced as conditional on achievement that children are at risk for serious emotional problems.
• Once a child forms a negative impression of himself, it is very difficult to change.
• We should never, ever, allow our kids to buy their way out of trouble.  When we mitigate natural consequences for our kids we deprive them of one of life’s most important lessons: that we are held accountable for our actions.
• Praise does not make us a warm parent
• Is the voice that runs commentary on your day a harsh and critical one, or does it treat you kindly?  This is the same voice that our children hear every day of their lives.

I Could Do Better

How many times are you guilty of thinking "I could do better?".

At your son's sport practice, you see the coach and think to yourself, "I could do better".

At your daughter's girl scout meeting, you see the volunteer and think to yourself, "I could do better".

At work, you witness your boss/manager/team leader and you think to yourself, "I could do better".

At your child's school, you see your child's classroom and schoolwork and think to yourself, "I could do better".

If you could do better, why aren't you?

Otherwise, it's probably best to apply that energy elsewhere in activities you are already doing.

Influencers- Part 2

Some additional thoughts from the book Influencers:

• When you give of your time, you give of yourself – and by the way, there is no such thing as quality time.  If you want to persuade people you are serious, sacrifice your time.
• Anyone who sacrifices money to serve customers cares about customers.
• Nothing makes a new vital behavior seem more credible than when you sacrifice time, money, ego, and other priorities to demonstrate that what you say is important to you really is important to you.
• What’s the first step to changing norms?  It’s breaking the code of silence around the problem that always sustains the status quo.  When you make the undiscussable discussable, you openly embrace rather than fight the power of social influence. Changes in behavior must be preceded by changes in public discourse.
• Don’t use incentives to compensate for your failure to engage personal and social motivation.
• People are so often out of touch with the message they are sending that they inadvertently reward the wrong behavior.

Influencers

Some thoughts from one of the better books I've read:

• A measure won’t drive behavior if it doesn’t maintain attention, and it certainly won’t maintain attention if it’s rarely assessed – especially if other measures are taken, discussed, and fretted over a hundred times more frequently.
• Most of us are in such a rush to influence others that we fail to stop and thoughtfully decide what behaviors we want to change.  Influencers are scrupulously careful about identifying vital behaviors before setting off to create change.
• At the end of a day a person asks “Can I do what’s required?” and, “Will it be worth it?”.  The first question simply asks, “Am I able?”  The second, “Am I motivated?”
• Influencers use four tactics to help people love what they hate:
• Allow for choice
• Create direct experiences
• Tell meaningful stories
• Make it a game
• Influencers are far more reluctant to conclude that others enact unhealthy behaviors simply because of a moral defect.  Rather, they suspect the misbehavior might be caused by something less severe.  In fact, they think the misbehavior may actually be curable. 
• When you swap coercive methods with personal choices, you open up the possibility of influencing even the most addictive and highly entrenched behaviors by gaining access to one of the most powerful human motivations: the power of the committed heart.

More thoughts tomorrow . . . 

Hillcrest Q&A: Homosexuality

The question(s) I was the most uncomfortable answering:

Question:  Can gay people have a partner to live with?  Can gay people have sex?  Can a gay couple (or single) adopt a child?

Answer:

·         These questions probably meant “should” rather than “can”!
·         What happens when we replace “gay people” with “unmarried heterosexual people”- does our response change any?  Because it seems we’re ok with heterosexual folks living together, having relations together, adopting together but when it comes to a gay person or couple doing these things, then we draw the line and say it’s wrong.
·         According to the Bible sex is meant for marriage between a man and a woman.  Sex outside the context of marriage- premarital, extramarital, homosexual, etc- comes with emotional and spiritual repercussions.  So should a gay person have sex?  According to Scripture, the answer is no.  See texts such as Genesis 2, 1 Timothy 1, and Romans 1 for more information.
·         However, as we’ve previously discussed in this series, the church errs when it singles out this issue as the bad issue.  In the Timothy and Romans passages the idea of homosexuality is listed with other sinful behavior- sins that each of us would be guilty of.  In Jesus’ sermon on the mount, he expands adultery to include lustful thoughts and marrying a divorced person and expands murder to include hateful thoughts and anger with others.  This is an area where we need to as Jesus said consider the log in our own eye before we talk about the speck in someone else’s.
·         And on the subject of adoption, I'll get perhaps somewhat controversial and argue that yes, a gay couple and/or single person (male or female) should be able to adopt a child.  There’s no proof text for this one.  While this may sound scandalous at first, if the choice is between an orphanage where the child will receive minimal care or a home with a single parent or gay parent where the child will receive all of the resources (food, clothing, shelter, love, medical care, education, etc) necessary to flourish in life, the choice- politics and religion aside- should be a no-brainer.  The loving home- no matter the marital affiliation of the parent(s)- is always the best choice.

Hillcrest Q&A: Christians Gone Wild

Should have perhaps added the disclaimer earlier in these posts, but these thoughts are mine and not necessarily representative of Hillcrest Church, the elders, etc . . . !

Question: Why are our churches following what the people want to hear and not what the bible teaches? It seems to me that there is no difference between Christians and non-Christians these days. Christians can go to R rated movies, drink, smoke and here I thought we were to be examples and not followers!

Answer:

·         Jesus in John 13:34-35- everyone will know you are my disciples if you love one another

o   This is where we are to be examples and where we are to be different- in our love for others

o   Living life this way will lead to questions (1 Peter 3:15) and opportunities for us to communicate the hope we have

·         Christians and popular culture/drinking/movies/etc

o   Cautious Objection- Philippians 4:8 (think on these things); 1 Corinthians 8:9 (causing others to stumble)- as followers of Christ we're wise to be thoughtful and hesitant on our participation with items of popular culture without being isolationists because 

o   Cautious Participation- Jesus’ own ministry (wedding at Cana, who he hung out with, etc); Jesus in John 17 for us to be in world but not of it- Jesus' own example compels us not to take an isolationist bubble approach but a thoughtful 'in the world' approach.

Hillcrest Q&A- I Saw The Sign

Question: How do we know when something is truly a “sign” from God? I often hear Christians say that this or that in their life was a “sign.”

Answer:

·         Anything God clearly reveals you and I to do (love others, pray, encourage one another, give, etc) or not to do (lie, gossip, hate, be divisive, etc) through the scriptures are signs from God!
·         I suspect this question might have more in mind with life’s bigger decisions- jobs and careers, spouses and children, moving or not moving, etc.  Are there signs God gives on who to marry (or not marry) or where to work (or not work)?

o   Does God have your life scripted for you or are you free to make your choices?  If life is scripted for you, then figuring out the signs is a matter of life or death.  If, on the other hand, you have some freedom to make choices, then it’s not so much of finding the person you are to marry or the job you are supposed to have, it is to make these choices and decisions against your biblically informed worldview.

o   The story of your life- your likes and dislikes, your passions, your strengths and weaknesses, your personality and temperament, your hobbies and skills- all of these were given to you by God and are incredibly useful for determining things like careers, family life, and purpose of life.  Tools such as journaling, having a spiritual mentor, and studies such as Emerging Journey (which we offer each fall at Hillcrest) or Storyline (which Tarina and I will be going through this school year with our small group) can be incredible tools for determining God’s signs!

Hillcrest Q&A- The questions I didn't answer

Took some time off from the blog mostly because there wasn't much to say and partly because "it's a busy time" (also explains several 'resigned' Words with Friends games!).  Anyway, this past Sunday at Hillcrest we had a Q&A time where myself and three others answered questions that folks- both within and outside of Hillcrest- had submitted throughout September.  I'll post the ones I answered in a couple days, but I wanted to start with the ones I didn't get to answer first.

Note: You can hear the panel answer these questions as well as see the other questions we didn't get to by clicking here.

Question: Have you ever considered preaching from scripture in the Bible instead of from a pre-made series that has little scripture reference?

Note #2: We actually got to this one in the 10:30 service but not the 9:00 service . . . 

Answer:

·         Not sure if this question is from a recent visitor who found this current series to be a little on the lighter side or someone who’s been here for awhile and is generally dissatisfied with the teaching here.
·         Our church is consists of folks with a wide array of spiritual backgrounds.  This current series is aimed for people who are newer to church or newer to following Jesus.  We recognize people who are newer to church/faith often come to Hillcrest and so we design series and messages to best fit where these folks are at in their faith walk.  We knew when doing this series more mature believers wouldn’t necessarily get a lot out of it.  We know that.  When we do topical series like this, we expect our more mature believers or folks who been coming to church for a long period of time to put their need for deeper teaching aside for a period of time so that we can reach people where they are.  We hope everyone gains something out of this series but we are also confident that when we do this- we have provided other opportunities such as bible studies, small groups, and the Soul Provider- our weekly devotional tool- to help folks get more meat in the event they didn’t get enough on Sunday.
·         But we don’t stop there.  We just came off of doing the Story for the first 8 months of 2013 and next month we’re doing a series that looks at familiar hymns and the stories and scriptures behind them.  These series are designed with more of our longer attenders and mature believers in mind.
·         The goal with teaching is for people to follow Jesus.  Look at Paul’s example.  You look at Paul in Acts 13 and he’s referencing the Old Testament (more of a meatier approach) throughout his sermon, but later in Acts 17 when Paul is Athens, he spots an unknown god the Athenian people are worshipping and engages in a philosophical discussion with the local people and rarely mentions the Old Testament.  Is he watering it down here?  Is his Acts 13 message a meaty one and his Acts 17 message a cotton candy one?  Or does he vary his approach based on his audience?

Tomorrow- 'signs' from God

Good Words from Brene Brown

I had the privilege to attend Willow Creek's Leadership Summit a couple weeks ago and am just now beginning to download the thoughts and takeaways from those two days.  One of the more riveting speakers was Brene Brown, who you can get a taste of with her TED talk here.

Some of her best thoughts from her Willow talk were:

• In the absence of love and belonging there is always suffering
• Leaders can't give others what they don't have 
• When you judge your self for asking for help you are automatically judging others when they ask for help (this one hurt a little- a bit close to home!)
• You can choose courage or you can choose comfort but you cannot choose both; they are mutually exclusive

I Am A Church Member

Interesting blog here on church attendance and membership.  While some of the premise could be correct, I think if you include activities such as attending a small group/bible study or serving somewhere, the statistics (while almost impossible to track) would be better.

Also, I read Rainer's book on church membership (mentioned in the blog post) and it's worthwhile reading.

12 Simple Rules for Greeting

Some really good (and comical) stuff here

July's Top Posts

The top posts from July:

• Seth Godin on Money
• Garbage Wars
• My One Social Media Rule

Troubled Minds

I recently read this book off the recommendation of a Facebook friend who also works within a church.  While I don't have any nuggets or takeaways to post here, it was an informative book and one that leaves you with more questions than answers.  This isn't a book that tells you how to begin a mental health ministry.  It's more the author's personal story of mental illness within her family, what type of support they received (and often times, did not receive) from the church, and areas where the church can do better (or in some areas, just do something) in this area.  

In Case You Missed It

In preparation for teaching this Sunday, I am reminded of this blog from a couple months ago.

Church Shopping

Looking for your input by taking a brief survey here.

Thanks!

It's Not About the Money

If someone says 'it's not about the money', rest assured it probably is.

Stuff Christians Like

If you're not reading this blog, you should be!

Macro-sin and the DOMA

Quite the title, hunh?!

The Supreme Court put further pressure on churches and Christians recently with its decisions concerning the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).  Its got evangelicals and pastors all riled up and wondering what's coming next from the government (even our church's insurance agent wanted to talk about the issue!).

As important as issue as this is, though, I think it's a mistake for the church to go 'all in' on it.

Too often, we can get all bothered by a micro-sin issue.  Right now, it's homosexuality.  A generation ago it might have been divorce or pre-marital relations or substance abuse.  Need not matter what the specific issue is, but we focus on a micro-sin issue almost at the exclusion of considering the macro-sin perspective: every one of is a sinner.

As Paul says, we've all fallen short.  None of us is perfect.

Say what you want about the Court's decisions, but if we get all riled up at this one particular issue while failing to consider how we're all messed up, how we all need grace, how Jesus came to restore all of us, then we'll put further distance between us and the folks Jesus came for.

Bad Marketing

Seth Godin has some interesting comments on bad marketing here.

I get what he's saying- a new ministry came to town recently and did door to door fliers advertising a week's worth of kick off events in local parks on our side of town.  Except the name of one of the parks was misspelled.  Oops.  A big deal?  No.  Will good things still happen with this ministry?  Of course.  But I admit, upon seeing the flier, my first thought was the misspelled name.

I've also been guilty of what he's saying.  When we were designing Hillcrest's Powerhouse Tutoring Center, my first name was the "Whittier Neighborhood Tutoring Center".  Wow- real creative, hunh?!

Just because everyone can do marketing doesn't mean everyone should.

Donald Miller on the Zimmerman/Martin Case

Some very helpful thoughts on this story here

My One Social Media Rule

If you don't want people to see it, read it, comment on it, or know about it, then don't post it, upload it, send it, tweet it.  It's that simple.

Every once in awhile some well-meaning person on Facebook will post something about privacy and clicking and unclicking things so that their stuff is only seen by their friends and not their friends' friends.  I am not sure if these things work or not.  I am sure these things are done with the best of intentions.

But if you put it on the internet, even in secure and private places, then it's still on the internet.

If the possibility of everyone seeing something you post on Facebook causes you to pause (even though you've checked all the right settings), then I think you know what (not) to do.  

Church and a Lemonade Stand

My son and I were playing in the front yard when we heard a faint voice a couple houses down- "lemonade for sale".  Now, I am all for kids and the entrepreneurial lessons offered with the classic lemonade stand.  My own kids have done it and they area a blast.  But a couple things struck me about this stand:

• There was no signage- you know, the lemonade costs $.25 or something like that.
• The stand was blocked by cars- there's some construction on our street so there's cars parked everywhere.  I am sure this girl's folks didn't let her go to the corner (much better location), but no one could tell she had a lemonade stand because it was hidden
• One sales technique- the only sales technique the girl employed was her faint voice- and I mean faint.  If you wanted lemonade from her, you had to have heard her voice and then work to locate her stand.

I think there's parallels between this stand and how we do church.  Often times, church can turn into an enterprise that seeks to serve those who already belong.  So we don't worry about signage, we don't worry about communication, we don't worry about varying our approach, because everyone who needs to know already knows.  We're communicating Jesus like this lemonade stand.  

If you hear us and can see us, then you can come to us, otherwise, we're good.

Trying a couple of different- and rather easy- things though would have made a huge difference in this girl's ability to sell lemonade.  

There's a parallel there too for churches.  

Garbage Wars

Sioux Falls is in the midst of a garbage war.  Unlike some other towns/cities, Sioux Falls has several private garbage providers.  The result is lots of competition for your garbage service.  This new company coming into town has generated lots of attention (and by saying lots, I realize that it's perhaps a slow news cycle here!).  People are posting on Facebook about it.  Neighbors are talking about it.  Tarina even talked with one of the salesmen and thwarted his efforts.  And like the story cites, my garbage provider has already sent me two letters summarizing the new provider's tactics and stating why I am better off staying with them.

No worries- I'm very happy with my service, the price is right, and the company is local and family-owned.

But if only there was a way for faster communication than a letter, which by the time customers receive it, might have already made the switch?!    

At first glance, an email distribution list or a Facebook page for a garbage company might seen to be a bit moronic.  What's a garbage company going to post on their Facebook page- recycling specials?  Pictures of their new truck?

But with the arrival of a new competitor, if it warranted two separate communications through the mail, and if the new competitor has already picked off hundreds if not thousands of customers, then perhaps a more timely communication mode was needed.

Sermon Leftovers: The Masses Leave Jesus

 Jesus is at the top of his popularity level.  He’s teaching with authority, he’s healing the sick, bringing dead people back to life, challenging the religious authorities- he’s wildly popular.  But then he begins to have some strange talks- things like people having to eat his flesh and drink his blood- pointing to his death on the cross- as essential to following him and it gets too hard to follow Jesus.  It gets too difficult to keep following this guy.  

Sure, all of the miracles and easy teachings are great- but when Jesus begins to make me feel uncomfortable, when he begins to ask something of me, when he begins to challenge me- well then, that’s where I get off.  I’d rather maintain my status quo then risk looking like some sort of Jesus freak.

You see, there’s always choice involved with following Jesus.  We can choose to leave, to stop following, to say it’s too difficult to do good in the name of Jesus, or we can be like Peter and say ‘Lord, to whom would we go?.  You have the words that give eternal life’.  We have found the very meaning to life in you so why would we go elsewhere?

Sermon Leftovers: Jesus Feeds the Masses

Here’s what I want to focus on this morning- the disciples approach this problem with an outsourcing mindset.  There’s a lot of people here, they are getting hungry, heck the disciples themselves probably could use a bite, so they come to Jesus with their plan- look, Jesus, it’s getting late.  The restaurants are going to be closing soon, so unless you want a mutiny on your hands, I suggest you wrap up your little talk, as your conference promotional material didn’t say anything about feeding these folks. 

And what does Jesus say- you give them something to eat.  You feed them!

I am fairly certain my response would have been the same as the disciples’- ah, with what?!  We’d have to work form months just to afford a spread for this crowd.  You must be joking!

We know the rest of the story- Jesus finds a boy with some bread and some fish, he gives thanks, and everyone is fed- with leftovers- off of this meager lunch.  It is one of the only miracles outside of the resurrection that is written in each of the four gospels.  But I wonder how many times we approach life with the scarcity mindset that the disciples display in this story.  God calls us to do something or serve someone- he invites us to be a part of blessing others, to be salt and light, and instead of receiving the invitation, we make up excuses.  We say, you must be joking.  And focus on all of the reasons why we are not qualified to help.  We don’t have the right education, the right experience, the right words to say, the right qualifications, the right family situation, the right work schedule, and we focus on what we don’t have- scarcity thinking- instead of what we do have to offer- or abundance thinking.  The boy who eventually comes forward with the fish and the bread- know what he doesn’t say- he doesn’t say, well all I have is this bread and fish, or I only have this fish and bread but it’s going to take a whole lot more to feed this crowd, or I have this but there’s no way it’s going to work.  No, he’s faithful with what he has and lets God worry about the results.  Who can ask for more than that?

Sermon Leftovers: Salt and Light

Jesus uses two very common images to outline what his kingdom of blessing looks like: salt and light.  In the ancient world, salt had two primary purposes.  The first purpose would have been similar to what we use salt for- flavor.  But the more overarching purpose would have been as a preservative.  Remember, there’s no refrigeration, no ice boxes, no coolers, so you used a lot of salt to in order to keep things fresh and preserved.

I think there’s a couple things to think about in relationship to being salt and light and how that seeks to be a blessing to others.  The first concerns what it means to be salt in today’s world.  A couple weeks ago, Pastor Doug talked about your ministry, your calling, and gave people the opportunity to sign up and explore what it might look like to use their gifts and talents within the church.  And that is certainly an important opportunity for each of us to consider.  But you know what else we need?  We need people to be salt in the places where they already are.  We need teachers and principals who follow Jesus, doctors and nurses who follow Jesus, business owners and employees who follow Jesus, artists and musicians who follow Jesus.  As important as it is for you and I to discover how we can minister within the church, it is just as important for you and I to figure out how to live lives for Christ through our work.

The second concerns what Jesus says in verse 16- in the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your father in heaven.  This is one of my favorite scriptures throughout the bible.  We have it painted on the outside of the worship center as you come in.  It’s a key text for Hillcrest and one that’s motivated what we’ve done on these walls and other service initiatives.  But I want to tell you something- it can be cool these days to serve.  It can be popular these days to participate in charitable work.  There’s no monopoly on serving opportunities or opportunities to do good in our world.  This is why the last part of verse 16 is so key- so that people will praise our Father in heaven.  If we follow Jesus, at some point we ought to be able to explain that that is why we are serving.  It’s more than just being a good person or doing the right thing.  We are motivated to do good because of what God has done for us, and we want to make sure he gets the credit- not us.

Sermon Leftovers: Walking on Water

Peter often gets a hard time in this event.  If you follow the gospel- and as we continue through the story- you’ll get the idea that Peter is pretty hot-headed, has a temper, pretty quick on the trigger- that kind of thing.  At first glance then, when you see him getting out of the boat, we’re tempted to think, well there goes Peter again- being all rash and just jumping into the lake as soon as he can.  You get the sense that the Peter is being the stupid one, the one who lacks faith- while the other disciples are being more prudent and responsible by staying in the boat.

But you know what question the first century audience hearing this story would be asking- how come the other 11 disciples stayed in the boat?  Seriously.  Jesus is a rabbi- a Jewish teacher.  And in this culture, if you were fortunate enough to be selected by a rabbi for further education, then it was expected you would do whatever the rabbi did.  So when Peter sees Jesus walking on the water, he isn’t thinking ‘oh, here’s my chance to separate myself from the pack, make a name for myself, etc’.  No, he’s thinking, ‘well if my rabbi can walk on water, then I can too’.  It’s the other 11 who would have looked like fools, not Peter.  

And here’s the other thing- Peter actually walked on water.  Yes, for only a few steps, but that’s a few more steps than you or I have been able to accomplish- right?  I mean, the last time I tried to walk on water, it didn’t go so well.  So while Peter does fall, he still walked on water!  We’ve been talking this morning about being a blessing to others, about being a Good Samaritan to others, and all it really takes is a couple of steps out of the boat.  When you mentor a child, help a child read, serve at the Powerhouse, pack a backpack, get involved with foster care/adoption, or any one of the limitless ways you can physically live out the gospel, you’re taking a step out of the boat.  You’re doing what your rabbi wants you to do.

Sermon Leftovers: Serving Two Masters

One of the things that we often think is in the bible is “money is the root of all evil”.  That’s actually not in the bible.  What is in the bible- in Paul’s letter to Timothy- is “the love of money is the root of all evil”.  Throughout this Story series, we’ve talked about idols, and the idea of an idol being anything that we place a greater amount of importance on than our faith in Jesus.  For many of us in America- this idol is money.  For some of us, it might be physical money in terms of the money we have in the bank or in retirement.  For others of us, it might be the stuff that money allows us to buy- homes, cars, toys, gadgets, etc.  And for others of us, it might be the jobs or education that allows us the jobs that allows us the money or the stuff.  Really, these are just different symptoms to the same problem of trying to serve money.

Jesus is pretty clear- we cannot serve two masters.  If we claim to follow Christ, we will not be able to follow money.  And if we follow money, it will be impossible to follow Christ.  This doesn’t mean money is bad- that is not what I am saying- there’s plenty of examples in our world where followers of Jesus do well with money but still manage for it not to become their god. 

But I think there are some of us  who spend so much energy trying to please both- both Jesus and money, both Jesus and our job, both Jesus and out lifestyle we feel we need to maintain to fit in, both Jesus and our education- that this trying to please two masters has left us pretty worn out.  Tired.  Empty.

Sermon Leftovers: Jairus' Daughter

There is incredible risk in living out the kind of gospel Jesus depicts in these stories.  There is an incredible risk in being like the farmer in the first story and simply telling another person about Jesus.  There is incredible risk in being like the prodigal son in the second story and admitting you were a fool and begging your father for forgiveness.  Not only that, there’s incredible risk for the father in that story- to not only accept his son back, but to throw a party and restore him back to where he was.  And with this story of Jairus’ daughter, there’s incredible risk involved for Jesus, to dismiss the Jewish laws and customs and instead seek out the girl and bring her back to life.

This morning, you may feel like the prodigal son.  You may feel like the seed that’s been tossed on the pavement or amongst the thorns.  I know it can sound cliché, but God is for you.  God wants you to return to Him.  He sent Jesus into this world- as John writes- not to condemn people, but to save them.  If you’ve never made the decision to follow Jesus with your life, I encourage you to take a risk and decide to follow Jesus.

Some others of us here this morning we might be feeling like, you know, we’re good with Jesus.  We’ve made that decision.  And yet, God is calling each of us here to be like the farmer in the first story, to be like the father in the second story, and to be like Jairus in the last story- to be the kinds of people who bring the good news to others.  I know it’s risky and I know it can be scary.  I feel those exact same emotions as well.  And when Jesus touches Jarius’ dead daughter, he risked a lot.  And the people God might be calling you to share his good news with- it might be risky.  Family might think you’re crazy.  Coworkers might chuckle or talk about you behind your back.  Your neighbors might put up a for sale sign in their yard. 

There’s always risk in telling others about Jesus.  And yet if we believe this is the way to live life- if we believe that Jesus is who Jesus said he was- is it really that big of a risk?

The Ones You Didn't Hear

Had some fun this past Sunday with the message but also made me realize the ones I didn't get to teach on would make for some good blog leftovers!  So enjoy!

Thoughts on the prodigal son:

Amazing, isn’t it?  The Father could have said “you are dead to me as I was to you” and disowned him.  He could have punished him and made him work his way back to his good graces.  But instead the father does the imaginable- he runs to greet the son!  He puts his finest robe on him, bestows high symbols of honor on him by giving him a ring and a robe, and kills the choicest animal to start off a party of all parties!  There’s no one in the audience hearing Jesus tell this story who would have expected this outcome.  No one.  To accept back the son was a surprise in and of itself, but to see the father go all out in his love and acceptance would truly have been scandalous.  Unexpected and undeserved.

And yet, that is exactly how God’s love works- it is scandalous, it is unexpected, and it is underserved.  In God’s eyes, it matters not what we have done- what matters is that we come back.  When you are searching for something or someone that is lost, you do not care about the reason it is lost.  You simply care about finding it.  For those of us here this morning who perhaps would say that you are not close to God, I want to assure you it does not matter what you have done, it does not matter why you decided to walk away from God.  God could give a rip about the reasons you’ve turned away.  What matters most is that he wants you to come back, and if you do, what you’ll discover is celebration- not condemnation.

Pastor Doug's Blog

Pastor Doug is blogging weekly here

June's Top Posts

There were fewer posts in June, but here were the top ones:

• Healthy Church Shopping
• If It's Too Good To Be True
• It's Not About the Nail

Seth Godin on Money

Been away from the blog for awhile, but felt this was a good one to come back with.

Creativity's Unseen Work

Disclaimer- this post could be seen as tooting my own horn, so apologies ahead of time!

I'm scheduled to teach at Hillcrest on July 7 and am working at trying something new.  As we're going through the Story, the format allows for some creativity to kind of spice things up.  The section of The Story we're going through for this Sunday is some of Jesus' best stuff- feeding of masses, walking on water, sermon on the mount, healing people, casting out demons, bringing people back from dead, etc.  It was difficult to focus on only a couple of stories, so the message on July 7 will be "choose your own adventure" style, where Hillcresters will get to use this amazing little app to actually vote- live- on which stories they want to hear.  They'll vote, and then we'll do that story.  That story will lead them to two more choices, they'll vote again, and we'll do the story they select.

All in all, it requires preparing 14 different stories (or mini messages) with the foreknowledge that at most only 6 different stories (3 during first service and a different 3 during second service) will be presented.  And Tarina- bless her heart- has agreed to join the fun by preparing 4 different songs to close out the service, again the song she sings will be determined by the path the people choose, but also with the foreknowledge that at most only 2 songs will be heard.

In essence, over half of the work being done for July 7th will go unseen and unheard.

Such is the work of expending some creative effort, right?!

Weeds Grow Everywhere

I'm not much of a gardener or landscaping person, but I've noticed that weeds can literally grow anywhere.  In the garden.  In the lawn.  In your landscaping.  And even in your gutters.  Weeds don't seem to need very much of anything to grow.  Doesn't matter if you're in a drought or if you're getting tons of rain- weeds can grow.

For things you actually want to grow though- like flowers and grass- it's not that easy.  You need seed and you need sunlight.  You need moisture- not too much and not too little- and you need to keep threats like weeds and pests away from what it is that you want to grow.  Getting the things you actually want to grow is a lot of hard work.

In my life, I don't need to work too hard to get weeds to grow.  Negative habits, sin, unhealthy choices- those things are like weeds- they need very little to take root and sprout.

But the good things- positive habits, fruits of the spirit, good disciplines- those things take work, effort, time, and attention.

It's no wonder why we often see more weeds and less fruit- it's simply easier.

Remembering Names

I worked at a smaller bank part-time as a teller.  One day the bank president came in, greeted me by name, and asked how things were going.

I was seriously impressed.  The bank's president knew my name even though I had only worked there a few months and part-time at that (later, I found out that the bank president had asked our branch's manager what my name was before our conversation, taking most of my awe out of the situation!  Nonetheless, this guy knew the importance of calling someone by his or her name).

Some of us are good at remembering names and others of us are not.  This post isn't to say one group is better than the other.  What we are all good at though, is feeling good when someone else knows us by name.  And to the extent we can know others by name, we ought to extend them that same feeling.

The Business of Belief

Good little book here that reads almost more as a collection of blog posts or short snippets.  My favorite thoughts:

• Effective leaders know the essential first step to changing people’s behavior is to understand their perspectives and embrace their desires and beliefs.  Everything else flows naturally from there.
• It’s not enough to simply know that we’re on the right path in life.  We must also feel and be affected by it.
• You’ve probably seen someone talking about something they know about.  But have you ever seen someone being what they’re talking about?  There’s a profound difference, one that creates a magnetic attraction.  And that difference is passion- a rare combination of confidence and energy.
• Great leaders influence stealthily and downplay their roles.  They hide the how.  They understand that belief is driven by our senses and by our feeling minds, and that we’re moved by our imagined stories and experiences.  

Why Sports Are Good for Kids

As we wind down the boys' baseball seasons, I really liked what this blog had to say

Facing Criticism

If you've ever faced criticism, here's a good blog

Intended for Somebody Else

Maybe you've done this- you hear a great message at church or hear something great on the radio or the web, and think to yourself, my friend (or spouse, of child, or family member, or boss, etc) so needs to hear this!  You've thought about who else should hear the message before you've even taken a stab at applying it yourself.

I can be guilty of similar thinking in my devotional time.  I'll read some Scripture and think, 'this would make a good blog post' or 'this would make a good sermon'.  In the same way, I've thought about who else needs to hear this before I have even taken a stab at applying it myself.  

Do this too often and soon our friends and family members will be thinking we ought to hear these great sermons or read these great passages!  

One Question

Read this shorter book mostly while riding out the rain this weekend on our church camping trip.  I don't have any takeaways from it, but really liked the premise of the book- the author interviews some of America's leading experts on topics as diverse as parenting, fitness, religion, and business and asks the expert one question.  If you're pressed for reading time, this is a good book as it condenses many current authors and puts some of their best thoughts in one book.

Merchandising

For anyone old enough to remember the 'classic' movie "Space Balls", you get the 'merchandising' reference.

As I placed an order for plastic ice cream scoops with our Hillcrest logo on them, I was reminded of that scene.

There's entire industries devoted to helping you put your logo on everything- pens, mugs, key chains, and yes, even ice cream scoops- under the guise of 'brand management'.

But that's not why we put our logo on an ice cream scoop.  We're doing it as sort of a thank you gift to those who support Hillcrest.  At the end of each quarter, we send out a quarterly contribution statement.  It shows what you've given each quarter and how your current giving benchmarks against your giving through the same period of time the previous year.  And every so often, we like to throw in a 'freebie' with those statements- sort of a fun way to thank our donors.  Last summer we gave those who received the statements free ice cream at B&G Milkyway.  Some statements have included coupons good for free admission to a corn maze or half off the price of the meal served at our business meeting (coincidentally, we had a pretty good turnout for that business meeting!).

So next month, along with the statements, we'll send out the scoops.  Not as a promotional thing, but as a thank you thing.  And hopefully we'll get some weather worthy of using an ice cream scoop!