You've Been Replaced!

We spent some time this past August in Spokane, WA, with Tarina's side of the family for her brother's wedding.  One afternoon while I was doing a little painting on Tarina's sister's house, my son Wesley asks if I'd come and throw him a few pitches.  Being up on a ladder and not wanting to quit the section half-way through, I tell him 'in a little bit'.  I didn't say 'no', I didn't say 'maybe', I went with the next best parent cop out of 'in a little bit', knowing full well that in 'a little bit', set against the whole of time, could span anywhere from 5 minutes to 5 hours!

After I finished what I was doing, I went to find Wes to excitedly tell him that 'in a little bit' had indeed come to fruition and it was time for baseball!  Except Wes hadn't waited for 'in a little bit'.  He had found two older kids from the neighborhood (again, we're in Spokane so it's not like Wes knows anyone!) and got one to pitch to him and the other to field his hits.  When he saw me, he looked at me, smiled and said "you've been replaced!".

I had two thoughts- the first was admiration that he 'led up' and found two older boys to play with him!  But that's for a different post! 

My second thought was 'ouch'!

I'm not ready to be replaced, though I know that time is coming sooner than later.  I don't want to be the guy who's too busy that he misses out on pitching or playing catch.  So, I took over as pitcher and all of us- Wes, me, the neighbor boys- played some baseball.

And while stuff needs to get done- and there are times I'll choose to get stuff done- I'm reminded also to not get so busy, otherwise "I'll be replaced".

 

It's Who You Know . . .

As they say, it's who you know, and I know some folks:

• Graham, my high school buddy- and doubles partner in tennis- wrote this piece for Christianity Today!
• Pete, one of 'my' first youth ministry 'kids' (though he's no longer a kid!), blogs on his thoughts on life and ministry here.
• And perhaps one of the best (and miost entertaining!) blogs you'll ever read is done by my friend Cindy here.

The Stinkeye

You know the look- the stinkeye?  It's the look someone gives you when she is less than pleased with your behavior.  For instance, I got the stinkeye from someone just a couple days ago because I was taking too long at the Redbox.  And truth be told, the Redbox is the place I'm probably most likely to give someone else the stinkeye!

This summer, while away at my uncle's funeral, my kids were playing in the hotel pool with their cousins.  Having fun, playing tag, splashing and being loud as kids are apt to do at a pool.  They had the pool to themselves and were taking full advantage.  After awhile, another family enters the pool with considerably younger kids who, judging by the arm floaties and sewn-in lifejacket/swimsuits, are not as used to the pool as our kids.  These new kids are accompanied by their parents- who are both in the pool- and their grandma, who is not in the pool but is content to stand with her walker and give my kids the stinkeye.  And then look at her family and mumble (I am sure her mumbles started with "Can you believe . . .).  And then turn back to my kids and give them the stinkeye.  And then mumble.  And she repeated the process for several minutes, until I couldn't take it any longer, and decided to give her my stinkeye. 

Except I didn't turn away when my staring became noticeably uncomfortable.  I just continued to glare at her. 

She finally relented, and I could tell from the looks and susequent conversations of the parents with her, that they could tell I wasn't pleased with her nonverbal response to my kids and things got better.  I had won. 

And yet I had lost.  Because here's the thing- after listening to Pastor Doug's great message this past Sunday about loving others (which you can find here)- I sure fall short way too often in that area.  I think I do a good job of loving others, but really all it takes is one stinkeye from someone, or getting cut off in traffic by someone, or someone working customer service who could give a rip about their job and serving me, and I forget all about loving others and blessing those who persecute me and go right back to the worldly ways of revenge and defense and stinkeyes.

Yuck. 

The Importance of Small Groups

"I like being in a group".

I told this to Tarina the other day as we started a new small group a couple weeks ago.  We meet weekly and serve a couple times a month and connect with one another a couple times a month (to see some pics of our group in action, click here).

For the last 20 years or so, I've been in a group of some sort.  While in high school I was part of the youth group and a weekly bible study.  There were several groups in college, and then once T and I were married, we were in a group with others who had just got married, and those times were so important as we were figuring out life as a married couple.  While I was in seminary, we were part of another group that again was very instrumental for our lives, and while we've gone our sperate ways, we had a reunion a couple summers ago.  I've been part of various men's groups and studies and currently meet with one on Friday mornings.  I've had the opportunity to lead groups and as a group experience some of life's greatest and most difficult moments together.

There's something about meeting with people, on a consistent basis, that makes life more fun.  And it also makes following Christ more meaningful because you're being shaped by other people and their stories.

Whereever you may be, I recommend being in a group.   

Awkward Church Photos and the Hard Sell

This blog entry timed perfectly with what's happening here at Hillcrest this week- photos for our new church directory!

The directory is such an invaluable tool for a church.  Having a tool where people can match up names with faces is priceless.  And with the nature change within churches- as in many organizations- we need to update our directory every 2-3 years so it's current.  Most people get that.  What agitates/frustrates/scares most people isn't necessarily that their photo will end up on this site but they don't want to endure the photographer's hard sell.  People getting their picture taken for a directory photo don't want:

• to be guilted into making a purchase. 
• to be told 'hey, we're trying to pay for a directory'
• to be pressured to use put it on their credit card after they've said they can't afford the photos
• to be given a coupon, try to use that coupon, and then told they can't use the coupon because they aren't spending enough (even though the coupon didn't disclose said information).

The short of it- if the pics are great and there is value into purchasing them, people will purchase.

Thankfully, so far, the photographers here have been great, professional, and not employing any of the above tactics. 

Non-profit Age Discrimination

Last week 13 Hillcresters helped pack backpacks for Feeding South Dakota.  A good turnout, but we've had twice and even thrice (hoping thrice is a word!) that amount in the past helping pack backpacks. 

What changed this year?

A new rule was added.  This year, in order to pack backpacks, you had to be older than 12.

This new rule in effect reduced our turnout from 26 or even 39 to 13.

The new rule took out my family.  And several other families who had done the packing in the past, hadn't created any issues, and were able to reduce the workload for the adult volunteers.  Some parents came solo (so the other could stay at home with the kids) and some (like mine) had other things going on and couldn't swing it if our kids coulnd't come.

I understand Feeding South Dakota's perspective.  I am sure their insurance company did an audit or they had a bad experience with an elementary-aged volunteer or someone on their board felt it just wasn't a good idea to have 6 year old breaking down boxes.  Non-profits need guidelines to make sure their volunteers stay safe.  They need to implement policies that reduce their liability in the event something bad happens. 

The unfortunate thing, though, is several Hillcrest youngsters who really look forward to the experience- and did a good job- no longer can. 

I believe families want to serve- together.  I believe families want to serve together because for a majority of the week, they are not together.  They are at one kid's practice, one kid's game, one kid's Scout meeting and one kid's piano lesson.  I believe we make it more difficult for families to serve together when we set these type of policies that restrict kids from serving.  As important as policies are, I believe allowing kids to serve is also important, maybe more so than keeping the insurance company happy.   

Check these out

Some interesting links:

• Pastor Doug's recent article in the Argus about our work with Cleveland Elementary
• Seth Godin continues to challenge
• And one of my son's teachers blogs here

Pain Management

I read the following quote in a business book the other day:

Almost everything that is being sold is for either a deep pain or a deep desire.  Having something that removes pain may be more effective than realizing a deep desire.  You need to show people how you can help remove or reduce pain.

At first, my knee-jerk reaction was that this quote was fine for businesses, but had no 'business' in the church.  And yet, the more I thought about it, the more I thought . . .

• In some ways, the gospel is meant to remove pain- mainly, the pain of our temporal and eternal seperation from our Creator.
• In other ways, the gospel is a call to pain, as we 'take up our crosses' and follow Jesus.
• In some ways, the church helps us remove our pain, as we interact and connect with others who are on the same journey as us, and are comforted and supported by them.
• In some ways, the church helps us realize a deep desire, mainly to live a life outside of ourselves, to give our lives away to a cause greater then ourselves.

Maybe the quote wasn't so far off after all  . . .

Summer Reading

I didn't get to read as much as I hoped for this summer, but here's a quick recap:

• The Go-Giver- been awhile since I've read a 'novel', but this book was a good story, though it rubs up against some 'health and wealth' gospel values.
• Quitter- no, not looking to quit a job, but this is a good read for anyone looking to get more out of work- both those of us who love our jobs and those who don't.  Plus, the author is pretty funny and if anything, you'll find the book entertaining!
• Platform- one of those books I pick up because I keep seeing people reference it.  I started on Twitter as a result of it, but if you're not an author- and I am not- it misses on some levels.
• DIY U- a book that discusses the shifts taking place- and yet to come- in higher education.  Along with health care, higher education continues to soar in costs and there's many differnet things being implemented that weren't available 10-20 years ago.  Didn't agree with everything, but interesting premises.
• The Coming Jobs War- the leader of the Gallup organization- the one that takes all the polls- says the way of our current economic situation is by creating jobs.  You might already know that, but the data and the story behind this basic premise is well-founded.

If you read something worthwhile this summer, let me know!

Puff Daddy and Amazing Grace

I did my funeral last week, and it was a very interesting experience.  While it seems weird to be thankful for a death, I am thankful for the experience as I don't get many of those opportunities (and I am ok with that!). 

Some observations:

• I did not know the deceased (Walt).  I did know one of his family members and she had the closest connection to a church, so that is how I got involved.  Doing a funeral for someone you don't know- for a family you don't know- is a challenge.
• The family wanted two songs played during the service- "I'll Be Missing You" by Puff Daddy and "Amazing Grace".  No joke.  While some clergy may not agree with the choice of Puff Daddy (and I'll admit I too was uncomfortable with the song!), I found the song on Amazon, bought it and burned it for them, and we played it during the ceremony, and I am so glad we did.  When the song was played, it was obvious how important and meaningful that song was for the Walt and the whole family.  If I did I had to do it over again, though, I'd edit the swears out of the beginning.  No mattew how meaningful something is, swear words don't belong at a funeral!
• Walt's niece gave a fantastic tribute- one of the best I've ever heard at a funeral.  It was so good, I was half-tempted to close in prayer when she was done!
• People need to hear the gospel.  I didn't know Walt nor do I know if he lived a life of faith or not.  But death gives us an opportunity to reflect on life.  And I'll always fall back on funerals as opportunities to share what real life- both here and in the time to come- can look like through the truth of the gospel.