Some takeaways:
- Parents
who persistently fall on the side of intervening for their child, as
opposed to supporting their child’s attempt to problem-solve, interfere
with the most important task of childhood and adolescence: the development
of a sense of self.
- We
can be overinvolved in the wrong things, and underinvolved in the right
things, both at the same time.
- Research
and common sense tell us that anxious parents make anxious children. Children take their cues from their
parents.
- It
is when a parent’s love is experienced as conditional on achievement that
children are at risk for serious emotional problems.
- Once
a child forms a negative impression of himself, it is very difficult to
change.
- We
should never, ever, allow our kids to buy their way out of trouble. When we mitigate natural consequences
for our kids we deprive them of one of life’s most important lessons: that
we are held accountable for our actions.
- Praise
does not make us a warm parent
- Is
the voice that runs commentary on your day a harsh and critical one, or
does it treat you kindly? This is
the same voice that our children hear every day of their lives.
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