Points of No Return

Much has been written- and data assembled- about how culture and society perceives Christians and churches being know more for "what they are against" than "what they are for".  And while we can debate the validity (or not) of the things we are against, the sad reality is that while we defend what we are against, we haven't put forth much effort on what we are for.

I did a post yesterday on the book Difficult Conversations and one takeaway I thought deserved its own post.  The authors write: Our sense of who we are as a community is often defined in terms of who we are not, who we are against, and what hardships we’ve endured.  Tragically, we can feel threatened by the prospect of reconciliation, because it can rob us not only of our role, but also of our community identity.

Wow.  Really good words here.  Chances are, you've been part of a community- a church, a school, your workplace- where you've endured some kind of split.  A big chunk of the church left.  Teachers and staff were moved out of your school or rearranged within your school.  A merger happened at work or several of your colleagues were let go and you didn't agree with the decision.  And it is interesting how those events define us.  We are (were) against this theological issue.  We are (were) against the staff reorganization.  We are (were) against the merger or the downsizing.  Those events- as painful as they are- bind the different groups together- those who 'stayed' and those who didn't.  And, as the authors point out, reconciliation is indeed a threatening prospect because when you're known to be against something, the thought of talking or reconciling with who/what you're against has the very real ability to steal your identity.