Most Popular 2012 Posts

In case you missed them, here's my top 5 most popular posts from 2012:

• Communication Styles
• If it's broke, tell us!
• The Me I Want to Be
• The End of Pastor Guru?
• Don't Judge a Good Decision

The Season of Giving

Christmas can be a bittersweet season.  For all of the joy and magic and wonder that's connected to the season, there's also pain and grief and discouragement that's connected to it as well.  One of the reasons why I love Christmas is because of all of the giving- a lot of it anonymously- that people do this time of year.  Obviously my role as a pastor makes me more privy to  this kind of thing, but when people give to others it restores my faith in humanity.  This season, I've witnessed numerous stories of people giving to others- many anonymously- in such meaningful and personal ways, not only am I reminded of the reason for the season, but I am reminded that the reason for the season was the ultimate giver.

More Bell-Ringing Observations

I've blogged on bell-ringing before, but as I did it again last night I came across a couple more observations:

• I had no idea that many people shopped at Shopko!  Seriously, I don't think I've ever intentionally gone to Shopko for anything, and yet lots of people did last night.  Who knew?!
• It was pretty cold and snowing last night, so at least 8 out of 10 cars driven by a guy with a gal passenger dropped off the gal at the front door.  Fellas, if you're not dropping off your gal at the front door, you're in the minority and you're perhaps a bit of a pile!
• Only one person all night left their shopping cart in the parking lot (as in didn't return it the places where you're supposed to).  Only one.  Remarkable.
• More people need to wear winter clothing.  Seriously, there's no need to make a fashion statement in December when it's cold and snowing.  And you're at Shopko.  Put some clothes on.
• One person asked if I liked coffee or hot chocolate.  I said yep!  Didn't know if that was going to score me a hot chocolate or a coffee, but as the night grew on, it became apparent it was simply a philosophical question!  

Butter Nut Coffee

People become coffee drinkers in different ways:  

• Lifers- Some, like my wife, practically grew up liking coffee and was drinking real, black coffee in high school and college.
• Evolutionaries- some, like me, take an evolutionary approach.  We start on the Starbucks track.  Well, actually, growing up Fargo didn't have a Starbucks, but it have a Moxie Java which was sorta the same thing.  And so in high school, I'd get the Milkyway and think I was a real coffee drinker, but in fact my drink was more flavored hot cocoa then coffee.  Over time, though, my tastes evolved and now I prefer black coffee over other drinks.
• I'll try anything once- these folks will, well, try anything once, and after trying coffee are hooked.

I'm sure there are other categories to add.  The point, though, is that early in our marriage, I was in coffee flavored cocoa stage and married to a lifer.  So when I'd do the grocery shopping, I'd buy a huge tin of Butter Nut coffee.  It was cheap, there was a lot of it, and it satisfied (or so I thought!) my spouse's affection for coffee.  Little did I know, as I evolved in my own coffee journey, that Butter Rum was not a good coffee for a lifer (Folgers, perhaps, but not Butter Nut).  And now, since I've come to enjoy black coffee, we buy a fair trade version that's sold at our church.  

Some would say I'm hypocritical seeing as how now that I have a taste for coffee, I've changed my opinion on Butter Nut.  And perhaps, there's some truth to it.  And sometimes, whether it's coffee, marriage, work, or countless other areas in life, solving a problem (or meeting a lifer's need for coffee) is going to require more than just a Butter Nut approach.  

Bell Ringing

As the fam and I were ringing bells last night, I was reminded of some earlier posts I've done on the subject.

You can find them here and here.

Everyone is in Marketing

Used to be marketing was something only done by professionals or seen in a TV advertisement.

Now, though, if you are alive, you're in marketing.  Doesn't matter if you don't have a job, you're still in marketing.

Our words, actions, tweets, status updates, emails and text messages all help to communicate our lives and what we think.

How you answer the phone?  Marketing.
How quickly you respond to an email  (or consequently, don't respond to an email)?  Marketing.
Your recent facebook post or tweet?  Marketing.
Your words?  Marketing.
Your body language?  Marketing.

Granted, we're not perfect.  We will all continue to say things, do things, and post things that we shouldn't.   We'll obviously make (lots of!) mistakes in our communication and consequently our marketing.

But we can no longer say that we're not in marketing or that what we say and do doesn't have an impact on people.

Because it does.  It all does.

Want to be Great?

Serving others is the path to greatness.

Reading in Mark this morning and noticed how Jesus' teaching on service- while I've read it before- was always in response to something else happening, and not just some pithy teaching he was giving.

• Mark 9:33-36- the disciples are jockeying for 'cabinet' like positions in Jesus' kingdom and so when Jesus calls them on it, his reply isn't "shame on you" but rather "whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else"
• Mark 10:17-31- Jesus is asked by a rich man how he can inherit eternal life and Jesus' eventual reply is by selling everything he has.  He leaves disappointed and the disciples are stunned because if a rich guy isn't making it to heaven, then no one has a shot.  Jesus concludes the whole upside-down encounter by saying "those who seem least important now will be the greatest then"
• Mark 10:35-45- here James and John ask to be Jesus' #1 and #2 right-hand men in his new kingdom- a pretty bold request.  When the other 10 hear of it, you can just imagine the "unfair" comments coming from their mouths.  Again, Jesus resets what his kingdom is about when he says "whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else"

Want to be great?  

Knowing the Basics

Salesperson stops by the other day.  Asks me "are you interested in getting more parishioners?"

What a question!  Parishioners?!

Anyway, it's a great question.  Say no, and you're not being honest.  Say yes, and you now have to listen to the pitch.

So I say yes.

And politely listen to the pitch.

After the pitch, I ask how many other local churches have utilized this particular pitch.

The salesperson isn't quite sure.  Salesperson knows of one church who has utilized a different pitch, but that's not the pitch I was given nor is there data on the pitch I was given.  

My question is a basic one concerning ROI or return on investment.  Simply, if I give you x dollars, what's the turnaround, the result?  Fairly basic question.

But if you don't know the basics . . .

A Great Story

If you have 10 minutes, check out this video.

Some interesting tidbits:

• Sunday was the first day we had met this family
• One of our Hillcresters heard this story from one of Shannon's (the mom's) friends.  There wasn't even a direct connection between us and them!
• It is so cool when our God works out stories like this one and such a privilege to be able to play a small part in it!

Smarter. Not Harder.

When I was in college and seminary, my mentor and friend Troy would often say "Smarter, not Harder".  Didn't matter if we were setting up for a Wednesday evening program, moving something around the church facility, or on a mission trip.  If there was a smarter way to do something, it always trumped the harder way.

As I was recently moving stuff around the church facility, I repeated that phrase several times as I used a cart, 4 wheel 'scooter', and a 2 wheel dolly (still convinced you can move anything with a two wheel dolly) to move stuff much larger than I.  It's not that I'm against hard work or working hard- even with the help of the dolly it took some real effort to move some of the items- but I have also realized there are smarter ways to move things- with carts and scooters and dollies!

When looking at your own work or life, be sure to look out for "smarter- not harder".

Brene Brown

I recently finished Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly and while it's a little 'touchy-feely' than what I normally read, it's an excellent book that relates to so many different areas in life:

• On social media: I see how kids that grow up on a steady diet of reality television, celebrity culture, and unsupervised social media can absorb this messaging and develop a completely skewed sense of the world.  I am only as good as the number of likes I get on Facebook or Instagram.
• On comparing your life with others: What makes this constant assessing and comparing so self-deflating is that we are often comparing our lives, our marriages, and our communities to unattainable, media-driven visions of perfection, or we’re holding up our reality against our own fictional account of how great someone else has it.  Nostalgia is also a dangerous form of comparison.
• On anyone who works with children and/or students: With children actions speak louder than words.  When we stop requesting invitations into their lives by asking about their day, asking them to tell us about their favorite songs, wondering how their friends are doing, then children feel pain and fear (and not relief, despite how our teenagers may act).  Because they can’t articulate how they feel about disengagement when we stop making an effort with them, they show us by acting out, thinking, this will get their attention.
• On religion: When religious leaders leverage our fear and need for more certainty by extracting vulnerability from spirituality and turning faith into “compliance and consequences” rather than teaching and modeling how to wrestle with the unknown and how to embrace mystery, the entire concept of faith is bankrupt on its own terms. 
• On leadership: How would engagement change if leaders sat down next to folks and said “thank you for your contributions.  Here’s how you’re making a difference.  This issue is getting in the way of your growth, and I think we can tackle it together.  What ideas do you have about moving forward?  What role do you think I’m playing in the problem?  What can I do differently to support you?”
• On parenting, part 1: Certainty often breeds absolutes, intolerance, and judgment.  That’s why parents are critical of one another- we latch on to a method or approach and very quickly our way becomes the way.  When we obsess over our parenting choices to the extent that most of us do, and then we see someone else making different choices, we often perceive the difference as direct criticism of how we are parenting.
• On parenting, part 2: In terms of teaching our children to dare greatly in the “never enough” culture, the question isn’t so much “are you parenting the right way?” as it is” are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?”.  
   

If you have 20 minutes . . .

 . . . then you should check out this video (scroll down to get the video).

My favorite point (and one I use whenever I'm in the classroom) is open book, open note, all the time.

Communication Styles

When I was a youth pastor, I used to believe if I had communicated something in one format, I was good to go.  For youth ministry, my preferred format was the calendar.  If there was ever any question or doubt about something related to the youth ministry, I'd (arrogantly and smugly, mind you) play my trump card: "it's on the calendar".  Thinking my trump card would win the dispute, I now realize I actually lost every time I said those words, because when it comes to communication, it doesn't matter where I've put the information if the intended recipient isn't getting the information.

Really, you can replace "calendar" with any number or church communication tools such as "bulletin", "email", or "announcement", but if you have to use the words "it's in/on the ______", you've already lost. 

Communication is similar to learning- just as there are different learning styles, there are different communication styles.  Each of us has a preference on how we send and receive communication.  Some live by email while others prefer text messages.  Some tweet while others use Facebook.  Some still want to get something in the mail while others prefer you pick up a phone.  The key to effective communication is figuring out how your recipients prefer to receive their communication and then doing it. 

The challenge, obviously, is that your recipients probably have different styles. 

Why is the other coach mad?

"Why is the other coach mad?"

I wish those words were said by someone on the team I was coaching about the other coach.

But they weren't.

They were said about me.  From a kid on the other team, asking their coach why I was upset.

I didn't think it'd happen, but for a moment on the soccer fields last Saturday, I was that parent/coach, chewing out (or what I prefer to call "real-time coaching") my child for not doing what I had asked them to do.  Nevermind the other players weren't really listening either.  After what seemed like the gazillionth time I had told my child to 'not watch the ball' (and instead 'go after the ball', 'stop the ball', and a kagillion other variations of that sage advice), I must've looked a little upset.

And truth is, I was upset.  I was upset that we were getting our tails kicked (not keeping score in youth sports is one of the biggest farces ever.  Everyone can say we can say we're not keeping score, and yet every kid, parent, and coach is mentally keeping score.  I have yet to meet one who doesn't). 

I was upset that my child wasn't listening. 

I was upset because this simple advice really could help the team.

And later on I was upset that I wrapped my own ego- my parenting ego, my coaching ego, my athletic ego- basically a lot of who I think I am- into this game- and when things didn't go well, I got upset. 

Geesh.  Guess I still have a long ways to go  . . .

What Was I Thinking?!

As a new youth pastor, fresh out of seminary and with a master's degree with an an emphasis in youth ministry, I actually believed I was qualified to give parents advice on how to parent teens.  Seriously.  I thought since I had read a couple books, took a couple classes, and hung out with teens at youth group, camps, and mission trips, I was somehow qualified to dispense advice to adults on how to best parent their teens.  I would actually hold parent meetings, forums, and classes where I'd talk about a topic on how to better parent teens.  Even though I'd never parented a teen in my life (and honestly, I handed out some of this advice before even being a parent myself!).

Seriously, what was I thinking?!

The Hillcrest families who had to sit under that advice were so gracious.  They smiled.  Some took notes.  Some implemented what we discussed.  But the older my kids get, the more I realize I had no business telling other people how to parent, and certainly not parents with teens!

There are things in life where you don't need to experience something to know about it (for instance, I don't have to use illegal drugs to know they're bad for me.  I can 'get' that concept without the experience).  And there are things in life where you absolutely need experience before you can even comment on it.  I think parenting falls into this category.  It's tough to give advice on this area if you've never done it. 

Blue Like Jazz

I read the book several years ago- excellent.

And a couple evenings ago, T and I rented the movie from the Redbox.  It had been awhile since I read the book, so I couldn't remember all the details, but this movie certainly isn't a 'Christian' movie in the way that Courageous and Fireproof are 'Christian' movies.  In fact, folks who really like those movies might not like this movie (see the Plugged In review here).  It has swearing.  It has drug use.  It has other uncomfortable topics.  It is rated PG-13 and for good reason. 

And yet, I think it is a movie worth watching for the thoughts and discussion alone (though if you rarely watch PG-13 or higher movies, then you're going to want to read the above review before renting- there's my disclaimer!). 

The movie is based on the book which is based on the author's life.  Don grows up in a Southern Baptist family in Texas with his mom and is all set to go to a Christian college when his life is thrown a significant wrench.  Everything he's ever known- trust in his mom, faith in his church- is thrown into a complete tailspin, causing his to withdraw from the Christian college and instead enroll in Reed College, one of the country's most 'liberal' schools located in Portland.  When he arrives there he hides his Christian faith and upbringing and 'experiences' all Reed has to offer (thus the PG-13 rating!).  And through those experiences and relationships, Don re-engages his faith, albeit in a way different then his growing up years.  The movie raises several questions and/or themes worth considering:

• What do we as Christians do with the pain our religion has caused other people?  Both in the past and today?  What things might we need to seek forgiveness for?
• Many Christians use the phrase 'love the sinner, but hate the sin'- what does that actually look like? 
• How are we doing on sharing the gospel through both words and deeds?
• Are we ashamed of being a Christian?  Are we ashamed of Jesus?  Why?

Being New

I don't like the feeling of being new.  Our family joined a different gym the other day and my first day going there to workout felt like I was going to my new high school for the first time.  I didn't know where anything was and I didn't know any of this gym's culture or unwritten rules such as

• Do I have to sign up for a machine? 
• Does someone always use this machine at the same time (I actually heard someone say to another member that a certain machine was his machine.  For real?!)
• Do I wipe down my machine after I'm done using it or does someone else? 
• Can I use the towels that are so neatly folded or does that cost extra?

It was weird and a bit uncomfortable.  And while it's been some time since I've felt new at church, I'm sure my gym experience is similar to those who come to a church for the first time- weird and a bit uncomfortable- because they too don't know the culutre or our unwritten rules such as a certain family always sits in these seats, that we always start worship by shaking hands and then singing, and that of course you can bring coffee into the worship center!

It's really not that tricky to tell who's new to church.  While one of the reasons we (myself included) give for not reaching out to folks at church is because we don't want to offend them by introducing ourselves to them for a second (or a third, or a fourth) time, there's some pretty easy signs to tell if someone is new:

• When they arrive at church, they have a bit of a 'deer in the headlights' look.  They come through the door and then stop and look around.  Why?  Because they don't know where anything is!  If you see this, say "hi!", "welcome", or "may I help you find something?".  I had this look last week at the gym!
• They either arrive really early or really late to service.  Your usual members and attenders come at the same time, but those who are new either come really early (like 15-20 minutes before service) or really late (like 15-20 minutes after service).  Be available during these times to welcome guests. 
• They ask questions.  Where is your bathroom?  Where is your nursery?  Where is your children's Sunday School?  If they're new, they don't know these answers, so answer their questions and show (rather than pointing) them where things are located.  Of course, good signage helps with this (and helped me at the gym), but nothing replaces a person who's willing to help you out.

How else can you tell if people are new?  And what else can we do to help people feel welcomed at their 'new' church? 

! High Importance

If everything is important, then nothing is important.

If every email you send has a ! by it, then the ! loses its power.

You've Been Replaced!

We spent some time this past August in Spokane, WA, with Tarina's side of the family for her brother's wedding.  One afternoon while I was doing a little painting on Tarina's sister's house, my son Wesley asks if I'd come and throw him a few pitches.  Being up on a ladder and not wanting to quit the section half-way through, I tell him 'in a little bit'.  I didn't say 'no', I didn't say 'maybe', I went with the next best parent cop out of 'in a little bit', knowing full well that in 'a little bit', set against the whole of time, could span anywhere from 5 minutes to 5 hours!

After I finished what I was doing, I went to find Wes to excitedly tell him that 'in a little bit' had indeed come to fruition and it was time for baseball!  Except Wes hadn't waited for 'in a little bit'.  He had found two older kids from the neighborhood (again, we're in Spokane so it's not like Wes knows anyone!) and got one to pitch to him and the other to field his hits.  When he saw me, he looked at me, smiled and said "you've been replaced!".

I had two thoughts- the first was admiration that he 'led up' and found two older boys to play with him!  But that's for a different post! 

My second thought was 'ouch'!

I'm not ready to be replaced, though I know that time is coming sooner than later.  I don't want to be the guy who's too busy that he misses out on pitching or playing catch.  So, I took over as pitcher and all of us- Wes, me, the neighbor boys- played some baseball.

And while stuff needs to get done- and there are times I'll choose to get stuff done- I'm reminded also to not get so busy, otherwise "I'll be replaced".

 

It's Who You Know . . .

As they say, it's who you know, and I know some folks:

• Graham, my high school buddy- and doubles partner in tennis- wrote this piece for Christianity Today!
• Pete, one of 'my' first youth ministry 'kids' (though he's no longer a kid!), blogs on his thoughts on life and ministry here.
• And perhaps one of the best (and miost entertaining!) blogs you'll ever read is done by my friend Cindy here.

The Stinkeye

You know the look- the stinkeye?  It's the look someone gives you when she is less than pleased with your behavior.  For instance, I got the stinkeye from someone just a couple days ago because I was taking too long at the Redbox.  And truth be told, the Redbox is the place I'm probably most likely to give someone else the stinkeye!

This summer, while away at my uncle's funeral, my kids were playing in the hotel pool with their cousins.  Having fun, playing tag, splashing and being loud as kids are apt to do at a pool.  They had the pool to themselves and were taking full advantage.  After awhile, another family enters the pool with considerably younger kids who, judging by the arm floaties and sewn-in lifejacket/swimsuits, are not as used to the pool as our kids.  These new kids are accompanied by their parents- who are both in the pool- and their grandma, who is not in the pool but is content to stand with her walker and give my kids the stinkeye.  And then look at her family and mumble (I am sure her mumbles started with "Can you believe . . .).  And then turn back to my kids and give them the stinkeye.  And then mumble.  And she repeated the process for several minutes, until I couldn't take it any longer, and decided to give her my stinkeye. 

Except I didn't turn away when my staring became noticeably uncomfortable.  I just continued to glare at her. 

She finally relented, and I could tell from the looks and susequent conversations of the parents with her, that they could tell I wasn't pleased with her nonverbal response to my kids and things got better.  I had won. 

And yet I had lost.  Because here's the thing- after listening to Pastor Doug's great message this past Sunday about loving others (which you can find here)- I sure fall short way too often in that area.  I think I do a good job of loving others, but really all it takes is one stinkeye from someone, or getting cut off in traffic by someone, or someone working customer service who could give a rip about their job and serving me, and I forget all about loving others and blessing those who persecute me and go right back to the worldly ways of revenge and defense and stinkeyes.

Yuck. 

The Importance of Small Groups

"I like being in a group".

I told this to Tarina the other day as we started a new small group a couple weeks ago.  We meet weekly and serve a couple times a month and connect with one another a couple times a month (to see some pics of our group in action, click here).

For the last 20 years or so, I've been in a group of some sort.  While in high school I was part of the youth group and a weekly bible study.  There were several groups in college, and then once T and I were married, we were in a group with others who had just got married, and those times were so important as we were figuring out life as a married couple.  While I was in seminary, we were part of another group that again was very instrumental for our lives, and while we've gone our sperate ways, we had a reunion a couple summers ago.  I've been part of various men's groups and studies and currently meet with one on Friday mornings.  I've had the opportunity to lead groups and as a group experience some of life's greatest and most difficult moments together.

There's something about meeting with people, on a consistent basis, that makes life more fun.  And it also makes following Christ more meaningful because you're being shaped by other people and their stories.

Whereever you may be, I recommend being in a group.   

Awkward Church Photos and the Hard Sell

This blog entry timed perfectly with what's happening here at Hillcrest this week- photos for our new church directory!

The directory is such an invaluable tool for a church.  Having a tool where people can match up names with faces is priceless.  And with the nature change within churches- as in many organizations- we need to update our directory every 2-3 years so it's current.  Most people get that.  What agitates/frustrates/scares most people isn't necessarily that their photo will end up on this site but they don't want to endure the photographer's hard sell.  People getting their picture taken for a directory photo don't want:

• to be guilted into making a purchase. 
• to be told 'hey, we're trying to pay for a directory'
• to be pressured to use put it on their credit card after they've said they can't afford the photos
• to be given a coupon, try to use that coupon, and then told they can't use the coupon because they aren't spending enough (even though the coupon didn't disclose said information).

The short of it- if the pics are great and there is value into purchasing them, people will purchase.

Thankfully, so far, the photographers here have been great, professional, and not employing any of the above tactics. 

Non-profit Age Discrimination

Last week 13 Hillcresters helped pack backpacks for Feeding South Dakota.  A good turnout, but we've had twice and even thrice (hoping thrice is a word!) that amount in the past helping pack backpacks. 

What changed this year?

A new rule was added.  This year, in order to pack backpacks, you had to be older than 12.

This new rule in effect reduced our turnout from 26 or even 39 to 13.

The new rule took out my family.  And several other families who had done the packing in the past, hadn't created any issues, and were able to reduce the workload for the adult volunteers.  Some parents came solo (so the other could stay at home with the kids) and some (like mine) had other things going on and couldn't swing it if our kids coulnd't come.

I understand Feeding South Dakota's perspective.  I am sure their insurance company did an audit or they had a bad experience with an elementary-aged volunteer or someone on their board felt it just wasn't a good idea to have 6 year old breaking down boxes.  Non-profits need guidelines to make sure their volunteers stay safe.  They need to implement policies that reduce their liability in the event something bad happens. 

The unfortunate thing, though, is several Hillcrest youngsters who really look forward to the experience- and did a good job- no longer can. 

I believe families want to serve- together.  I believe families want to serve together because for a majority of the week, they are not together.  They are at one kid's practice, one kid's game, one kid's Scout meeting and one kid's piano lesson.  I believe we make it more difficult for families to serve together when we set these type of policies that restrict kids from serving.  As important as policies are, I believe allowing kids to serve is also important, maybe more so than keeping the insurance company happy.   

Check these out

Some interesting links:

• Pastor Doug's recent article in the Argus about our work with Cleveland Elementary
• Seth Godin continues to challenge
• And one of my son's teachers blogs here

Pain Management

I read the following quote in a business book the other day:

Almost everything that is being sold is for either a deep pain or a deep desire.  Having something that removes pain may be more effective than realizing a deep desire.  You need to show people how you can help remove or reduce pain.

At first, my knee-jerk reaction was that this quote was fine for businesses, but had no 'business' in the church.  And yet, the more I thought about it, the more I thought . . .

• In some ways, the gospel is meant to remove pain- mainly, the pain of our temporal and eternal seperation from our Creator.
• In other ways, the gospel is a call to pain, as we 'take up our crosses' and follow Jesus.
• In some ways, the church helps us remove our pain, as we interact and connect with others who are on the same journey as us, and are comforted and supported by them.
• In some ways, the church helps us realize a deep desire, mainly to live a life outside of ourselves, to give our lives away to a cause greater then ourselves.

Maybe the quote wasn't so far off after all  . . .

Summer Reading

I didn't get to read as much as I hoped for this summer, but here's a quick recap:

• The Go-Giver- been awhile since I've read a 'novel', but this book was a good story, though it rubs up against some 'health and wealth' gospel values.
• Quitter- no, not looking to quit a job, but this is a good read for anyone looking to get more out of work- both those of us who love our jobs and those who don't.  Plus, the author is pretty funny and if anything, you'll find the book entertaining!
• Platform- one of those books I pick up because I keep seeing people reference it.  I started on Twitter as a result of it, but if you're not an author- and I am not- it misses on some levels.
• DIY U- a book that discusses the shifts taking place- and yet to come- in higher education.  Along with health care, higher education continues to soar in costs and there's many differnet things being implemented that weren't available 10-20 years ago.  Didn't agree with everything, but interesting premises.
• The Coming Jobs War- the leader of the Gallup organization- the one that takes all the polls- says the way of our current economic situation is by creating jobs.  You might already know that, but the data and the story behind this basic premise is well-founded.

If you read something worthwhile this summer, let me know!

Puff Daddy and Amazing Grace

I did my funeral last week, and it was a very interesting experience.  While it seems weird to be thankful for a death, I am thankful for the experience as I don't get many of those opportunities (and I am ok with that!). 

Some observations:

• I did not know the deceased (Walt).  I did know one of his family members and she had the closest connection to a church, so that is how I got involved.  Doing a funeral for someone you don't know- for a family you don't know- is a challenge.
• The family wanted two songs played during the service- "I'll Be Missing You" by Puff Daddy and "Amazing Grace".  No joke.  While some clergy may not agree with the choice of Puff Daddy (and I'll admit I too was uncomfortable with the song!), I found the song on Amazon, bought it and burned it for them, and we played it during the ceremony, and I am so glad we did.  When the song was played, it was obvious how important and meaningful that song was for the Walt and the whole family.  If I did I had to do it over again, though, I'd edit the swears out of the beginning.  No mattew how meaningful something is, swear words don't belong at a funeral!
• Walt's niece gave a fantastic tribute- one of the best I've ever heard at a funeral.  It was so good, I was half-tempted to close in prayer when she was done!
• People need to hear the gospel.  I didn't know Walt nor do I know if he lived a life of faith or not.  But death gives us an opportunity to reflect on life.  And I'll always fall back on funerals as opportunities to share what real life- both here and in the time to come- can look like through the truth of the gospel.   

Don't Marry the Program

5 summers ago we lauched a program at Hillcrest called "Wednesday Night Service".  It took months of research, conversations with Hillcresters, conversations with potential non-profits with whom we would be partnering for the service projects, deciding which opportunities were better 'fits' for our groups than others, communicating the program, inviting people to participate, following up with those who served, following up with the agencies who received the service, and many other administrative type tasks.  And when we launched it the program was a huge success!  Tons of Hillcresters came out and participated in different projects throughout the community.  Many folks served outside of the church for the first time.  And for new people checking out Hillcrest, the program was a big badge of honor.  They couldn't believe we took time each week to serve the community.  They were very impressed!  Our members and attenders also loved being a part of a church so connected to the community.

But as great of a program as it was, it could not escape the fate that happens to so many programs.  At the beginning, many people came out and many people were excited.  As time went on, the newness wore off and soon there was a group- a sizeable group, for sure- that made up the regulars who particpated each week while others came out for projects they were more excited about.  All good stuff.  As more time went on, the 'regular' group became smaller.  With a smaller regular group, I then began to limit the number of opportunities we provided on each Wednesday night.  Did this mean Hillcresters no longer care about the community?  Of course not.  Many had discovered ways to serve in their own communities, schools, and workplaces.  Many continued to participate, just less frequently.  Many took a season away.  Again, all good stuff.  This isn't a post about guilt! 

I've never tried to be 'married' to a program.  The program of Wednesday Night Service was designed to put feet to a value Hillcrest has (mainly, that we give a rip about our local community and thus desire to serve it in meaningful ways).  The decrease in numbers indicates a problem with the program, not with the value.  So this fall we've made some changes to how we're going to serve on Wednesdays and throughout a month around our community.  Because while programs may come and go, the value is here to stay. 

Did You Have Fun?

I think it is important to have fun.  I am sure people get sick of 'fun' being the litmus test of whether an event, program, class, school, organization, youth sports groups, church youth groups, etc, is successful or not.

Last Sunday our church had a picnic and a bean bag tournament after services at a local park (yours truly took 2nd place, but as we know, there's no points for 2nd place!).  And it was fun.  A lot of fun.  In the next few weeks, the guys will go to the races and go golfing.  Our church will hit the corn maze and also host a chili cook-off.  Our youth ministry will go roller skating and have a Madden torunament for the guys.  Our children's ministries will host a trunk or treat with another church complete with costumes and decorated vehicles.  All of these events have fun as their primary purpose.  Are they times for people to connect with one another?  You bet.  Do we design these events so people who aren't as connected to Hillcrest maybe come out and feel a little more connected to Hillcrest as a result?  Of course.  But if we don't have fun- if these events aren't fun- the chances of those other things happening decreases.  By a lot. 

Is life always fun?  Of course not.  In fact, for many of us our experiences are the complete opposite.  Life is hard.  Life is work.  Life can be painful and troubling.  All the more important that when the church gathers, we have fun.

If it's broke, tell us!

Ordered some pizza the other night.  The young lady taking my order told me my pizza would arrive in 30 minutes.  55 minutes later, as I am about to call the place to see where my pizza is, the delivery guy shows up.  He's apologetic and said one of the oven is broke so it's taking more time to get the pizza out.  Understandable.  But doesn't the gal answering the phone know that?  And wouldn't it be better if they included that detail when talking with you and perhaps modifying the pizza's arrival time to factor for a broken oven?

Next day the fam and I are at a zoo/amusement park.  After doing the zoo thing, we wander over to the amusement park to let the kids ride one ride each.  Go to the ticket counter, wait in line, go to pay and after telling the clerk what I want and she rings it up, I pull out my debit card.  The gal explains their system is down and they are only accepting cash.  There's an ATM next door I can use.  Again, understandable.  But doesn't the clerk already know about the problem with accepting debit/credit cards?  Shouldn't that be the first thing out of their mouths, or better yet, have a sign posted that says something about the problem?  While I went to get cash from the ATM, this happens to 3 more customers who want ticket packages, go to pay, pull out a card, and then learn about the problem. 

If it's broke, tell us! 

Let Me Know

I know I've said these words countless times: "Let me know if there is something I can do . . .".  These words feel good leaving my mouth.  I've communicated I care about the person and the situation he or she is going through.  The truth is, though, these words are empty and all I've done is volleyed responsibility on reaching out back to the person who is going through something that might not make them want to reach out.

Far better to simply do something- drop a meal off, send a note, pray with the person right then and there, send a HyVee card, then to say the easy words and wait. 

The Two Sides of Change

There are two sides to change.  The first side is the side of those who make the change.  The second side is the side of those who have to deal with the change.

As someone who's been on both sides of change, it is important to remember what it feels like for each side going through a change.   

I know what the first side, the side making the change, feels like.  So when I am on the second side and am having to deal with a change, I have greater empathy for the first side, for those who made the change, and thus are less likely to react out of fear or raw emotion.

I also know what the second side feels like, to experience a change that leaves you feeling like turbulence on an airplane.  Those experiences hopefully makes me more aware when I am in the first side of making a change, to realize those feelings and do all I can to minimize the turbulence. 

Dumb Rules

The drive-in we went to the other evening has a rule of no hatches or lift gates open during the movie.  For those with minivans or crossover vehicles, this means you can't watch the movie from the back of your vehicle.  There apparently was "an incident" with a lift gate several years ago and so they have banned them altogether.

Dumb rule.

I can't imagine what would have happened with a hatch to make them ban all of them- someone (a really tall person!) got a concussion by running into it?  A kid got caught in one?  But to make a rule about it?

Rules become dumb when they are made off of a one time event.

The pool we go to has a rule where my wife or I have to be within so many inches of our younger swimmers. 

Dumb rule.

Even though they can swim just fine and have been swimming in the "deep end" for years.  Even though we show them they can swim.  Doesn't matter- have to be within a few inches.  While I so wanted to ask what a few inches was (and didn't notice any lifeguards carrying around rulers or measuring tapes), so it becomes a judgment call for the lifeguard.

Rules become dumb when they are arbitrary and there's no way to measure or enforce them.

Another pool we swim at (sensing a theme?!) has the rule where you can't swim in an area where you can't touch.

Dumb rule.

Even though at this same pool where they can jump off the diving boards and swim to the side.  Even though at other pools- operated under the same 'family of pools' they can swim in areas where they can't touch.  Doesn't matter.  In this particular part of the pool, if you can't touch, you can't swim.

Rules become dumb when they are not consistent.

Any dumb rules you'd add? 

Something to Say

One of my college mentors had a saying: "as long as you're in God's word, you'll always have something to say".  He said this primarily in response to the question of what we should be discussing when it came to bible studies in the dorms, what curriculum to use when leading studies for small groups or youth group, that kind of thing.

As a pastor, this advice still comes in handy when I'm asked to pray, give a devotional, or lead in some similar way. 

The caution, though, is that we're tempted to see our time with God as something that's useful for everyone else- our family, our friends, our coworkers, etc.  It's the 'you have to hear this sermon' or 'you have to read this book' syndrome.  While we should be passing on what we're learning, we must not forget to spend time with God for our sake, for what he wants to do in our own lives.

Is everyone an artist?

What if everyone isn’t an artist? 

There seems to be a popular trend right now saying your job or your work (and by job or work we mean what you do for money) is to be seen more like art.  To be fair, when they say art, they mean more then just painting, drawing, singing, and sculpting.  They argue that any time you're doing something for the fun of it, something you lose yourself in, rather than the obligation of it, that something can be art.  These authors also argue the nature of work is changing and that the new economy will reward the linchpins, those are irreplaceable, those whose work becomes almost ‘art like’. 

The debate even hit popular culture when a Modern Family episode earlier this year featured a squabble between the in-laws (who all had the creative, artistic dreams and ideas) against the laws (who were the realists, the party poopers, and sought to crush the dreamers’ dreams).  The show ends of course with the laws lookling like ruthless dream killers and the creative in-laws as being worthy of unending sympathy!  If I was asked who I am more like- Claire the dream killer or Phil the dreamer, it'd be Claire! 

Full disclosure- I’ve never been much of an artist.  I got a “C” in junior high art class, and even that was a gift because there's no way I am an even average artist!  I still remember having mild anxiety anytime we did art in an elementary classroom.  I’d look at what other kids were doing, ask the teacher multiple times for assistance, and still never produce anything that even closely resembled whatever it was that we were supposed to be creating! 

I don't play anything, draw anything, or paint anything, but sure appreciate and respect everyone who do all of those things!  The truth is I get more elation out of a plan coming together, out of a new idea taking action, out of a budget being balanced, out of seeing something that our church is doing having an impact, then I do out of painting something, singing something, or playing something.  If the idea of art is expanding to include those things, count me in!  If not, then there will always be the divide between those who create and the rest of us. 

Most Popular Posts

Blogger says it is my 400th post, so what better time to reveal the top 5 posts from this blog?!

• #5- You are Here
• #4- The End of Pastor Guru?
• #3- Church Bouncer
• #2- Powerhouse Tutoring Center Update
• #1- Tim Keller on Parenting (no doubt #1 because of web searches for a popular author and a popular topic!) 

Twitter

Not too many posts lately- hoping to change that in the future.

For the time being, I joined Twitter @bstroh7.  We'll see if I can pick it up or not.

And for anyone still reading who is on Twitter, send me some pointers!

The Me I Want to Be

Hillcrest's sermon series in May is based on John Ortberg's recent book The Me I Want to Be.  I recently read the book and was reminded of Ortberg's personal and yet challenging style when it comes to our spiritual lives and following Jesus.  Here's some of my takeaways:

• I know: memorization scares us. But I also know people who have memorized every episode of the television show ‘The Simpsons’ without trying.

• People would rather debate doctrine or beliefs or tradition or interpretation than actually do what Jesus said. It’s not rocket science. Just go do it. Practice loving a difficult person or try forgiving someone. Give away some money. Tell someone thank you. Encourage a friend. Bless an enemy. Say ‘I’m sorry’. Worship God. You already know more than you need to know.

• It is easier to be smart than to be good. You don’t need to know more from the bible; you just need to do what you already know.

• Yet far more human beings spend their lives in offices than in studies. Most adults spend about half of their waking lives at work. Your work is a huge part of God’s plan for your life, and God intends the Spirit to fill and energize workplaces. Work that gets done in offices and elsewhere- building up people, creating teams, managing the resources of creation, desperately requires the guidance and energy of the Spirit.

• I have often heard sermons designed to make people feel guilty about not keeping the Sabbath, but I have never heard a sermon designed to make people feel guilty about not honoring the six-day work week. The point is not how many days or hours we are punching the clock. The point is that just as God made and loves the Sabbath, so he also made and loves work.

• God isn’t at work producing the circumstances you want. God is at work in bad circumstances producing the you he wants.

In the Sioux Falls area on Sundays in May?  Check us out at 9 or 10:30 and pick up a free copy of the book! 

The End of Pastor Guru?

As a pastor, people ask me all kids of questions related to doctrine, theology, church history, details pertaining to Scripture, and a host of other 'spiritual' matters. I love it. It's one of the things I enjoy most about being a pastor, and it is one of the times I get to apply my seminary training. And it's not just answering the questions, but what's really exciting is these questions lead to discussions and raise more questions.

But I wonder if Google (and other technology) is changing this approach of the pastor as a guru.

The last few times I've been asked these types of questions, the person asking the question had already done their homework. They had researched the question on the web, consulted a book or two, and developed a very informed opinon. In some instances, I couldn't quite give an answer off the top of my head as I needed time to refresh my memory and do my own digging.

In the past, we simply didn't have access to the same tools the paid ministry leaders did, so we relied on their expertise and training. Google, wikipedia, biblegateway, and many other sites, however, level the playing field. While advanced training is still good for pastors and ministry leaders, really anyone can learn to work in the Greek or the Hebrew, research theologically difficult topics, and get answers on church history matters.

For those pastors who relish the role of being the only one with the answers, this is a bad development, and their response will be similar to those in the newspaper business (the sky is falling!). But other pastors will see this as a fantastic development as people do their own study gather their own information, and enter into conversations which leads to a closer following of Jesus.

Don't Judge a Good Decision

We judge a good decision when we tell the person (who desires to eat healthier) to stay away from bananas because they aren't as good for you as you would think (but isn't a banana better than Doritos?).

We judge a good decision when we tell a family (who wants to adopt a child) they should be open to a child from a foreign country or a child with special needs (but isn't a family wanting to adopt at all better than not wanting to adopt?).

We judge a good decision when we tell the person (who wants to become a foster parent) she should be open to situations she's not comfortable with (but isn't a foster home who only wants specific situations better than not being a foster home?).

We judge a good decision when we tell the person (who wants to serve his local neighborhood or school) he should consider going overseas to do 'real' mission work where there is a 'real' need.

The thing is when a person or a family decides to make a good decision- whether it be the ones mentioned above or a host of others that reorient their priorities around how God wants them to live life for him and others, let's celebrate the decision for what it is- an incredible moment of a person following through on what God is telling them to do, rather than insinuating they should be doing something different, or 'more', or 'greater' with their decision.

When Christians Fight

We had protesters at Hillcrest last Sunday holding up signs at both parking lot entrances claiming we use an incorrect version of Scripture. When first told about them 15 minutes for service, I didn't believe it. Then I peeked out and saw that indeed there were protesters. Wow! My first thoughts in situations such as this always go to, for lack of a better term, 'damage control'. What will new people to Hillcrest think? What wil we say to our people? Will we acknowledge it from the front or not? After a couple minutes, I walked out and met one of the protesters who was convinced we use the NIV (we don't; we actually use the NLT which would have been further proof for them, but I digress). He then ratteled off his list of trump card verses memorized to show his superirority and convince me that I was going to hell because we used a different biblical version.

I'll admit- I wanted to fight, I did. I wanted to get into a shouting match, point out some of the 'interesting' translation choices in the King James (for instance, the use of "unicorns" in Numbers 23, 24 and Job 39), and keep this going. Instead, I asked him if this was the best use of his time (he assured me it was). I asked him why he wasn't at his own church this morning (didn't start until 9:30). I asked him if he'd like to come into our church until his church started (he almost laughed at that suggestion!). As he continued to quote his scriptural cadence to me, I kept saying 'God bless you' (though I wasn't sure how sincere I was with that blessing). And as I walked away, he kept shouting his superior use and knowledge of Scripture.

The irony in all of this? We had the Gideons with us on Sunday- whose sole work is to give out more Scripture (albeit the incorrect versions(s)).

When Christians fight, it isn't good. I am all for standing for truth and defending doctrine. I don't think you should compromise your beliefs. And yet, you can still hold onto your beliefs without fighting. I am sure the protesters went back to their home church and were greeted with 'atta boys'. And I am sure that for the many who drove past Hillcrest last Sunday saw a scene only confirming what they already know about Christians.

There's two 'Christian' movies coming out in the next couple weeks. One is called October Baby and is a film about a failed abortion, adoption, and a powerful story. The second is called "Blue Like Jazz" and is loosley based on the best selling book of the same name which follows a college freshman from an evangelical background to the most liberal and godless college in America.

Both films are PG-13 and both will benefit from Christian audiences, but the similarities stop there. One claims to be a Christian film while the other doesn't want to be associated as a typical Christian film. One of the films doesn't want the trailer for the other film being shown before its fillm. One of the films is the latest in a long and recent list of Christian films, while the other film is much edgier then those films. And to be expected, there's been fighting and critcizing and judging from both sides. The two films show an increasing difference in perspectives when it comes to how Christianity ought to be lived out. And yet the bickering and infighting also show our struggle to love one another.

Book Report: You Lost Me

Recently read You Lost Me which details the 18-29 year old generation and their rather quick exit of church once they leave home. When I was a youth pastor, there were other books written about this trend and the truth is Christiantiy is always one generation away from extinction. The assumption within churches though was people who left the church during 18-29 year old time period came back in their 30s, presumably after marrying and having kids. The data though says that both events- marriage and kids are happening later in life, if at all. Couple this with some of the findings from an earlier book by the same author called unChristian which details the prevailing negative view that churches have in those who don't attend, and it sets up for a rather bleak picture.

Some takeaways (reading this on my Kindle prevents me from being able to cite a page number!):

• Most young Christians are struggling less with their faith in Christ than with their experience of church.





• Can the Christian community summon the courage to prepare a new generation of professionals to be excellent in their calling and craft, yet humble and faithful where God has asked them to serve?





• Your children are going to break your heart. Somehow. Somewhere. Maybe more than once. To become a parent is to promise you’ll love prodigals.





• A culture of skepticism is a culture of questions, and questions lead to conversations, relationships, and truth.





• Young Christians (and former Christians too) say the church is not a place that allows them to express doubts. They do not feel safe admitting that faith doesn’t always make sense. In addition, many feel that the church’s response to doubt is trivial and fact focused, as if people can be talked out of doubting. How can the Christian community help this generation face their doubts squarely and integrate their questions into a robust life of faith?





• I believe the Christian community has failed to disciple its science-inclined students to become responsible, intelligent, capable, resourceful, and faithful followers of Christ. We need to do a better job of stewarding the intellect of this generation.

There's much more that I found interesting, but that would mean a longer post! This book is great for parents, church leaders, youth workers, and really anyone who have a realtionship with this generation (and that ought to be all of us!). The book is hoping people who follow Christ will take the necessary risks and be able to artfully disciple and encourage this generation.

Forced to change

I am not a writer nor a filmmaker, but a theme I keep bumping into lately is this: the main character in any great story is forced to change. I've heard this guy say it and I recently ran into again while reading a book about making better Powerpoint presentations- no joke- you can make fun of me later!

Any movie you like will no doubt have this idea behind it. For instance, in Moneyball, Brad Pitt's character doesn't decide to toy with numbers and rosters for the heck of it- his team's small budget and increasing competition force him to do it.

When I've talked with people about spiritual growth, most will say they grew most during life's tougher moments (forced to change). You could physical fitness or any other pursuit in that previous sentence as well (I really got serious about my health after my doctor's appointment . . .).

We all probably have stories of an outside circumstance forcing us to change? But is that the only way change is possible? Is it possible to change without being forced into it?

Expect Resistance

As I make my way through the Old Testament, I read Nehemiah and what I took from it this time is that change encounters resistance. I was reminded of this when I opened our money series on the first Sunday in March and invited Hillcresters to consider ‘the tithing challenge’ where they would tithe for the next six weeks. In almost the same breath, though, I said that a tithe is one of the most difficult steps one takes in their faith journeys and that if we do take the step, we can sure bet that something will happen in our financial life to make us wish we hadn’t taken that step! Sure enough, the following Sunday after the challenge I heard a story from someone of a financial situation that happened literally two days after taking the challenge! Talk about resistance!

As Nehemiah sets out to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem, he’s met with several challenges and people who flat out resist him and his efforts. The resistance is so strong in fact that he and his team have to divide their labor between the actual work of rebuilding the wall and taking turns on ‘night patrol’. Now that's resistance! I think anytime we deisre to make changes in our life, we ought to expect resistance. The cool thing, though, is that when push through the resistance, we've got experience, so that when we set out to make another change, we'll expect the resistance, and be able to use our previous experience to push us through.

Entertaining Learning

I have a gym membership and prefer to workout there. It's where I get most of my reading done while I'm on the ellipitcal. But we also have a treadmill in the laundry room, and if I miss a morning, I have no excuse not to get to some work in on it. It's tough to run and read at the same time, so I'll watch Law and Order reruns courtesy of Netflix or the recent Modern Family episodes. They help to pass the time by, until I remembered that I could do treadmill work and learn at the same time. As funny as the recent Modern Family episodes have been, there's the part of me that will feel some guilt if I don't at least counter the entertainment with some learning, which is where www.ted.com comes in. TED is a site of short and often entertaining lectures- most are 20 minutes- from really interesting people doing really interesting things. Not all are great, but some are, and really provoke some good thoughts. Some of the more interesting ones I've seen lately while on the laundry room treadmill:

• We need to talk about injustice - I know I'm guilty of thinking things are ok in terms of race and justice. This talk illustrates that we have miles to go.


• The power of introverts- I'm an introvert (yet not as much as I used to be) and this talk reminds us that there's a place for introverts in the world


• The happy secret to better work- tempting to dismiss this as more 'self-help psycho babble', but can you really dismiss the idea that if you're generous and thankful and helpful that you'll be happier and feel better about your work?

What TED talks would you suggest?

Made to Matter

I'm officially getting older, as I now spend 6:00 AM every Friday morning at Bagel Boy drinking coffee with other guys from Hillcrest. It's a great time and I really do look forward to it each week in spite of the time!

Each morning we discuss a short chapter from the book Made to Matter which serves as a weekly devotional for living out your faith in the workplace. Two points from a recent reading really stuck with me:

• You can't lead others farther then where you are at your self


• You haven't really learned something until you teach someone else

The first point has been a fundamental truth for me for years. It's a filter I use through my own leading and teaching- I can't ask or expect someone to do something that I am not willing to do in my own life.

But the second point really stopped me and it made sense- we've learned something when we can pass it onto others. It could be how to fish, how to play a sport, how to study, or it could be the gospel, what God is doing in your life, or why you tithe- whatever it is, you've really learned something when you can teach someone else.

Oh, and I'd also add this- you've really learned something when you do it in your own life. Guess that circles back to the first point . . .

Be Nice

Interesting story from 2 Chronicles 10, where Rehoboam is set to become king of Israel. Knowing this, the people ask if he would consider lightening their tax load. In exchange, they promise to be loyal subjects. The future kings mulls it over and asks the people to come back in a couple days. Rehoboam then seeks counsel from two sources. The first are his father Solomon's advisors, the old guys. They agree with the people and say it would be wise for Rehoboam to listen to them and lighten the load. Rehoboam then seeks advice from his peeps, who tell him the exact opposite- that he should be tougher then his father to show the people who's really in charge now.

And isn't this a temptation for most leaders? Rather then take the advice of older and wiser folks, lighten things up, and win the people over with niceness, the newer (younger) leader feels the need to do things on his own, establish control, and send messages to the people he leads.

Rehoboam's decision doesn't go too well for him. And while there's obviously much more to leaderership then being nice and listening to older folks, sometimes it is exacly what is called for.

New Seth Godin Book

Seth Godin has a new 'book' out, which you can access here.

I have the air quotes around book because you can't get a hard copy of it. It's free and it's electronic.

And from what I can tell so far, it's must reading for parents, taxpayers, educators, and anyone else who cares about children, their future, and how school fits in.

Busywork

Our family volunteered at the VOA Thrift Store last night as part of a Hillcrest group. The store is an impressive place with lots of items priced to move. The store accomplishes two things- it brings in some income to support its staff and programming while also providing the under-resourced in Sioux Falls some excellent deals on clothing, household items, furniture and much more.

When we serve at the store, the person in charge at the store is good about giving the adults something meaningful to do but it can be a bit of a challenge to find stuff for the kids to do. So T and I will take turns finding something helpful our kids can do- sweeping, vacuuming the kids' area, picking up teash, etc. Last night they took turn at those tasks while T hung jeans (a lot of jeans!) on clothing racks.

Some might say that what we did (especially what my kids did) was just busywork- tasks that need to be done, but by doing them doesn't mean you accomplished something, because those tasks will have to be done the next day, and the next day, and the next day. And there's some truth to this- sometimes tasks are repetitive like that.

But even though it's busywork, those tasks are important for my children as they learn about doing something for someone else. Those tasks are also important for the store, because even though it's a second hand store, it's still selling stuff and cleaner floors help sell more stuff than dirty floors do.

And hopefully one day, my kids won't just serve, but be able to walk into a place and not wait for someone to tell them what to do, but be able to start something on their own.

Strong Opinions

I believe everyone has strong opinions. I believe every person has a strong opinion on politics, religion, economics, parenting, culture, and a host of other issues.

The interesting thing is what people do with their strong opinions.

Some never share their opinions and instead opt to live out their opinions.

Some always share their opinions while putting forth little effort to living out their opinions.

And some do both- they share their opinions and try to live out their opinions.

I am not sure there's a 'right' category here, simply that we all have strong opinions and thus the responsibility is what we do with those opinions.

Links

Some interesting links to pass along:

• A post on loving one's neighbor (and also giving to your local church) here




• A post on the importance of mentoring children here. Live in SF and want to know more abotu mentoring- let me know.




• A great post from Hillcrest's own worship leader here.



• And for those interested, you can follow the blog from Hillcrest's return trip to Sudan (scheduled for April) by clicking here.

Your tacos are better than ours!

I remember saying that one time to some friends who had us over for supper. The meal was tacos and they were the best tacos we'd ever had. But the thing was, there wasn't anything fancy about them, no special sauce, no magic ingredient, just tacos and fixings, and yet they were delicious. I wonder if the awesomeness of those tacos wasn't actually in the taco themselves, but rather in the gift of hospitality from some dear friends. I could've used the same meat, same seasoning, and same fixings and wound up with the same tacos- but they probably wouldn't have tasted as good because I had to prep them myself.

When it comes to serving and ministry, there's perhaps a correlation- there's all kinds of things that people can do themselves, but sometimes there's magic in serving others in simple ways, ways that they could have done for themselves (like making tacos), and when you serve them, there's a magical result (like the best tacos ever).

It's for the children

As long as there are under-resourced people, there will be opinions and theories as to why people are under-resourced. Some will argue that it's bad luck whether that's a medical disease or a natural disaster. Some will say it's the result of poor planning whether that's not having an 'emergency fund' or whether that's having skills in an area that's no longer needed (typewriter maintenance, for instance, or many American manufacturing jobs). Some will say it's the result of bad government, whether that's too many taxes (and thus not enough incentive for businesses to hire employees) or too little taxes (and thus not enough money to provide for unemployment and job training for those who are in between jobs). Some will say it's the result of attitude.

When people fall on hard times, or when 3,000 kids in the Sioux Falls School district don't have enough to eat on the weekend, or when billions of people live on less than $2 a day, it's natural to ask 'whose fault is this?'.

I'm not sure I can answer that question, but I know whose fault it isn't- it's not the children's fault.

It's not the Ethiopian orphan's fault that her mom and dad both died from AIDS.
It's not the Sioux Falls' first grader fault that her parents are recent immigrants here.
It's not the Sioux Falls' middle schooler's fault that one parent isn't in the picture and that one parent works two jobs just to make ends meet.
It's not the foster care kid's fault that mom, dad, or both made dumb decisions and thus can't parent him.

I think what motivates most if not all of our interest in serving the community- from Sioux Falls to Sudan- is this realization that there are children's lives at stake. Children who didn't take a drug, children who didn't drop out of high school, children who didn't contract AIDS, children who didn't commit a violent act, simply children. We can argue all we want about whose to blame for the world's ills, but we should be able to agree on who isn't at fault . . . and then do something about it.

Old Testament Speed Bumps

The Old Testament gets a bad rap, and probably deserves some of it. The weird laws in Leviticus, the nauseating censuses in Numbers, the explicit instructions for the Tabernacle and later the Temple.

But then you come across two of the more interesting chapters you will ever see back to back- 1 Kings 22 and 2 Kings 1. Both involve the ongoing struggles between prophets and their kings, both involve the kings getting prophetic words that they didn't care for too much, and both are colorful and downright entertaining (especially when read in the New Living Translation). It can be tempting to skim past the Old Testament, but doing so means you'll miss out on these gems.

SOPA? PIPA? LMNOP?

Confused about SOPA or PIPA or why there was a big black box on Googe the other day? I was too, so check out this video that explains some of it.

And, the TED site where this video comes from is an excellent site to learn about just about anything.

Riley's Science Experiment

Hi this is Riley! I'm doing a science experiment and would like you to read my story here. Thank you!

Sunday School

In my time at Hillcrest, we've offered different options that you'd consider Sunday School. We've had full Sunday morning programming, limited Sunday morning programming, and programming inbetween those the full and limited options.

With that in mind, here's a good article on Sunday School.

Incognito

An interesting book from David Eagleman called Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain reveals some new insights being gleaned from recent research on the human brain. One of the ideas- probably not surprising- is that the brain operates like a team of rivals. There's an emotional part of our brain and then a rational part. The rational part can answer a math question but can't begin a conversation with a coworker. Eagleman argues that the brain works better with these two competing forces, and then makes this insight concerning human morality and ethics:

When we talk about a virtuous person, we do not necessarily mean someone who is not tempted but, instead, someone who is able to resist that temptation. We mean someone who does not let that battle tip to the side of instant gratification. We value such people because it is easy to yield to impulses, and inordinately difficult to ignore them.

In this case our emotional brain wants the instant gratification. Our economy is full of examples from sub-prime mortgages to how much debt we carry on our credit cards. There's other examples too in relationships, in academics, our careers, etc. One part of us wants to take the short cut, to feel the pleasure immediately, to cater to our wants and desires. All of us deal with those temptations. The key is not give in to those things. And while those of who follow Jesus have known about this struggle and duality for some time (think of Paul in Romans 7), it looks like the science is catching up!

The Cost of Giving

There's an interesting passage at the end of 2 Samuel 24:

David replied, “I have come to buy your threshing floor and to build an altar to the Lord there, so that he will stop the plague.”
22 “Take it, my lord the king, and use it as you wish,” Araunah said to David. “Here are oxen for the burnt offering, and you can use the threshing boards and ox yokes for wood to build a fire on the altar. 23 I will give it all to you, Your Majesty, and may the Lord your God accept your sacrifice.”
24 But the king replied to Araunah, “No, I insist on buying it, for I will not present burnt offerings to the Lord my God that have cost me nothing.” So David paid him fifty pieces of silver for the threshing floor and the oxen.

I think this is an incredible passage when it comes to giving. David was the king- he didn’t need to pay for the threshing floor or for the sacrificial animal. In fact, it probably was an honor for Araunah to give it to the king. But David isn’t going to give God something that doesn’t cost him something.

The fact remains that very few Christians tithe (give 10% of their income). The last research I saw was 3% of Christians- all Christians in America- give 10% of their income to their churches. If you add in giving to other non-profits (food banks, United Way, other agencies), the number who give 10% of their income away jumps to 6% of Christians- an encouraging jump but still a depressing statistic.

Some will argue- correctly, by the way- that the tithe is an Old Testament principle never mentioned in the New Testament. And to counter that principle, prominent Christian leaders such as Tim Keller will argue- in my opinion, correctly- that “tithing is a minimum standard for Christian believers. We certainly wouldn’t want to be in a position of giving away less of our income than those who had so much less of an understanding of what God did to save them” (Counterfeit Gods, 62). Keller’s argument is that the Old Testament knew not of Jesus, a cross, a resurrection and gave 10% of their income to God. Today, we do know of Jesus, the cross, and the resurrection so his argument is that we ought to give more- not less- since we know the price God has paid for us.

When it comes to Christians and giving, there can be lots of energy placed spent the amount we give and not as much energy on whether our giving costs us something. Obviously, every time we give it literally costs us something, but does our giving represent a sacrifice being made in our life? And whether it’s our money or our time, I think the same principle applies to our lives. As the Matthew West sings, we can ‘throw a twenty in the plate but never give until it hurts’. And to circle back to where I began, the percentage or the amount one gives isn’t the point. For David, his gift had to cost something, even though he was the king. And when we give- be it to a church or nonprofit, it also should cost something.